Still here

It has been so long since I have been on here.  It still hard everyday not having my DH with me.  I have myself at times believing that he is on vacation and will be back.  When I sit and think about it and relize that this is not the fact I break down.  Up until Aubrey was born he was my everything and know that he is gone I feel lost.  He was the one I told my problems 2 and cried on his shoulder,  he was the one that would do anything in his power to make me and Aubrey happy.  I get so angry think about how if the Drs would have done thier jobs 5yrs ago he would still be here with us.  Aubrey is growing like a weed and the things that come out of her mouth floors me.  He would be eating this stuff up.  I go on for Aubrey, because she needs me and though bills are piling up around me I thank God for her.  She is my reason for living.