Still going...feeling a bit better
Well, I'm feeling a bit better now that the antibiotics are taking care of some of the infection. Turned out that the severe back pain I've been experiencing was from a kidney/bladder infection and is much better now. The doctor tried a different antibiotic, and while it is still very difficult for me to take because of nausea, vomitting and diareaha, overall it has done a much better job of killing the infections and making me feel better. Strange how we can take simple things like being able to pee for granted until we can no longer do that! The hard part is it's not something at least I openly want to talk about, I tend to stay quiet for way too long until the situation has become critical, which in retrospect is stupid. Had I mentioned the difficulties I have been having the last few months, I would have felt better a whole lot sooner had I just discussed this with my doctor.
So, now I am cutting back on the break through pain medicine and mucsle relaxers by quite a bit, not becuase the doctor said too or required it, but becuause I have been learning that if I let the pain come through more then I can tell sooner when I am over dueing it and slow down before it becomes a hugh flair up. So far this seems to be working better for which I am grateful, as there is always so much to do and it's so difficult for me to do it.
I have begun the gardening season, set up the small three shelf green house in the dining room with the lamps, and I'm ready to get the little seeds all set to start to grown, for the garden and this year I've decided to do more flowers as well. I am putting in a permanet herb bed with culinary herbs and some medicinal herbs as well. I have always been interested in more natural medicine and have decided to grow some and try using them for simple things.
All of this of course is so difficult to do, the pain coursing through my body is intense, movement so hard to do. The worst is the mental stress from forcing myself to move and cause more pain, yet I am determined to do something- everyday. I have been trying to build my tolerance to the pain, accept it as now a part of what I am, and learn to live move with it. I am still fustrated and angry at all the things I can no longer do, and how long it takes me to do the things I can, as I must rest much more often now, even when doing the simplest of tasks. It's a big struggle to not let despair and a feeling of uselessness overwhelm me and let depression take hold in my mind.
We have purchased a truck and are looking for a good four wheel camper ( pop up truck camper) so we can go camping while having heat, and a good bed for me which is essitial for me now days. The raised bed makes it much easier for me to get out of bed, we were camping with a air mattress in a tent, but I could not get up off the air matress without help, nor dress bent over in the tent. I have decided that since I have a progressive disease, I'd better get out there and do all that I can to store up memories and pictures for the time when mind over body will no longer work. I honestly hope with the increased carrot of getting out and moving that it will help keep me moving, and maybe I can beat back the RSD and not let it freeze my joints. I have seen what just a few days of not moving my joints does, and it is so much harder to work through the pain to get them moving again, and would be way too easy to just give in and hold them still.
Besides, I must get out and move, the rest of my family is NOT disabled, and deserves to have some things outside of the home. I really feel badly for my husband, as ever since this has happened to me his daily life has changed so much. He no longer goes and spends much time with his friends, which he used to do on his days off when I was working regularly, but now stays close to home and to me. He is always near, when ever he can be, and seems concerned about leaving me alone, for fear something will happen and no one will be there to help me. My youngest, 12, is doing the same thing, coming home straight from school instead of going to the boys and girls club as she enjoyed doing before I got hurt. Now she might go once or twice every two weeks or so, will only stay about an hour before she's back home, immediately looking for me and reassurance I'm ok. I don't want them to miss out on things in life, just because they love me and fear for me. So I've been working harder on moving around and reasuring them it's okay to go do things, I'll be here and ok. I think in some ways they feel bad that they can go do things, but I no longer can. Well, that's BS, and is going to change here.
Bright Blessings everyone, and hope for a sunny day for you!
So, now I am cutting back on the break through pain medicine and mucsle relaxers by quite a bit, not becuase the doctor said too or required it, but becuause I have been learning that if I let the pain come through more then I can tell sooner when I am over dueing it and slow down before it becomes a hugh flair up. So far this seems to be working better for which I am grateful, as there is always so much to do and it's so difficult for me to do it.
I have begun the gardening season, set up the small three shelf green house in the dining room with the lamps, and I'm ready to get the little seeds all set to start to grown, for the garden and this year I've decided to do more flowers as well. I am putting in a permanet herb bed with culinary herbs and some medicinal herbs as well. I have always been interested in more natural medicine and have decided to grow some and try using them for simple things.
All of this of course is so difficult to do, the pain coursing through my body is intense, movement so hard to do. The worst is the mental stress from forcing myself to move and cause more pain, yet I am determined to do something- everyday. I have been trying to build my tolerance to the pain, accept it as now a part of what I am, and learn to live move with it. I am still fustrated and angry at all the things I can no longer do, and how long it takes me to do the things I can, as I must rest much more often now, even when doing the simplest of tasks. It's a big struggle to not let despair and a feeling of uselessness overwhelm me and let depression take hold in my mind.
We have purchased a truck and are looking for a good four wheel camper ( pop up truck camper) so we can go camping while having heat, and a good bed for me which is essitial for me now days. The raised bed makes it much easier for me to get out of bed, we were camping with a air mattress in a tent, but I could not get up off the air matress without help, nor dress bent over in the tent. I have decided that since I have a progressive disease, I'd better get out there and do all that I can to store up memories and pictures for the time when mind over body will no longer work. I honestly hope with the increased carrot of getting out and moving that it will help keep me moving, and maybe I can beat back the RSD and not let it freeze my joints. I have seen what just a few days of not moving my joints does, and it is so much harder to work through the pain to get them moving again, and would be way too easy to just give in and hold them still.
Besides, I must get out and move, the rest of my family is NOT disabled, and deserves to have some things outside of the home. I really feel badly for my husband, as ever since this has happened to me his daily life has changed so much. He no longer goes and spends much time with his friends, which he used to do on his days off when I was working regularly, but now stays close to home and to me. He is always near, when ever he can be, and seems concerned about leaving me alone, for fear something will happen and no one will be there to help me. My youngest, 12, is doing the same thing, coming home straight from school instead of going to the boys and girls club as she enjoyed doing before I got hurt. Now she might go once or twice every two weeks or so, will only stay about an hour before she's back home, immediately looking for me and reassurance I'm ok. I don't want them to miss out on things in life, just because they love me and fear for me. So I've been working harder on moving around and reasuring them it's okay to go do things, I'll be here and ok. I think in some ways they feel bad that they can go do things, but I no longer can. Well, that's BS, and is going to change here.
Bright Blessings everyone, and hope for a sunny day for you!
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