Still Dealing With Loss of my "Pup"`~update
Today I found myself smiling, while thinking of her excitement every time she knew a treat was forthcoming. Or rather how she played me one way or another for an “extra” in between snack…EXCEPTIONAL hearing, she’s “asleep” in the upper bedroom, stereo on loud…responds to the crinkling of plastic wrap or a can opening in the kitchen at the other end of the house!! My animals are my kids and “the pack” takes care of its own. May we all too hold fond memories of those furry bundles of love that get us through the roughest days and never seem to live long enough, nor ever will…
Still there lingers this hollow space, where my “baby girl” belongs, whether it’s next to me on the couch or laying by my chair or playing and running in the backyard. My other two dogs help somewhat, but right now I’m not really there in spirit and they sense it. My 75+# Pit bull/Boxer decided to become a lap dog last night to help me out :- )
Thanks to all of you for your understanding words, thoughts and prayers during my time of need, in the premature loss of my dog to leukemia, just a week ago today. The first two evenings bought magnificent royal purple sunsets towards the south and I viewed it as a sign, that my “pup-pup” was in a serene and safe place and living like royalty, like she was treated at home with semi-daily treats of chicken/beef liver, gizzards or catfish nuggets on sale. High in protein and essential minerals and inexpensive and the dogs LOVE it, but please no doggy kisses for a while; their Herring & Sweet Potato wet food is bad enough and I like fish, but not as a fragrance!
I FINALLY got a few nights of DEEP sleep, including one 14 hr period that helped me get realigned and feel more rested during the day. I started making the transition around a week ago, to getting back in touch with the outer world, right about the time my girlfriend said that she misses me and who I was before all this happened…I didn’t smile or laugh, just lost in a daze, trying to keep my mind busy doing housework or being increasingly challenged playing the Acey Duce version of Backgammon with my g/f. It’s become “our game” and win or loose, it’s a lot of fun and helps keep our depression at bay.
Some people just don’t put much sacredness into animals, big or small and it’s actually a form of therapy for many of us animal lovers. Your sensitivity only shows your humanness and that you have a heart, which makes you a stronger and better person in the end. My “puppy” was loved on and cuddled throughout the day, as were the other animals and even turned my daughter into a convert. My pup would let out a special cry, when she heard or saw her coming to the house that always told me it was she, often with one or two of my grandsons, which just added to the bonus. More people to play with, YEA, more primal howling…damn I sure miss her…each animal has its own distinctive personality. I think my Pit has OCD, the way he works his blankets around before laying down and he gets this worried look when he sees them disappearing in the washer…
It’s been two weeks or more as I’ve been piecing this together and there’s too much grief to deal with all at once, so allowing myself to work through it in tiny moments. While at the pet food store today I donated a $1 to some wildlife refuge and rehab center in her name and then it was back into the 8 degree cold, blowing snow and my two dogs, anxious for the store treat samples I have in my pocket.
As a further memorial to my “pup-pup”, who would really light up and be ready to play with any kids she could get close to, I decided for this coming Christmas season I’d focus on buying large quantities of toddler through young teen size hoodies, underwear, socks, etc to give to some gift drive for needy kids on sale through Hanes website, which recently gave me a 30% discount incentive on top of the sale prices on certain items. I focus on a specific charity each year for the holidays to give about 80% to and in the past it’s been a woman’s shelter, the ASPCA and Human Society, and the Salvation Army, all of which have touched my life in a significant way at some time in my life.
She warmed a lot of hearts and bought a smile to everyone’s face, as she had that sad puppy dog eyes and look, just waiting for some attention and loving. Then she’d settle down, after the other dogs got their attentions worth too! The healing may take forever, as I can only form simple snapshots, baby steps for now and even that’s a struggle to deal with…
Still there lingers this hollow space, where my “baby girl” belongs, whether it’s next to me on the couch or laying by my chair or playing and running in the backyard. My other two dogs help somewhat, but right now I’m not really there in spirit and they sense it. My 75+# Pit bull/Boxer decided to become a lap dog last night to help me out :- )
Thanks to all of you for your understanding words, thoughts and prayers during my time of need, in the premature loss of my dog to leukemia, just a week ago today. The first two evenings bought magnificent royal purple sunsets towards the south and I viewed it as a sign, that my “pup-pup” was in a serene and safe place and living like royalty, like she was treated at home with semi-daily treats of chicken/beef liver, gizzards or catfish nuggets on sale. High in protein and essential minerals and inexpensive and the dogs LOVE it, but please no doggy kisses for a while; their Herring & Sweet Potato wet food is bad enough and I like fish, but not as a fragrance!
I FINALLY got a few nights of DEEP sleep, including one 14 hr period that helped me get realigned and feel more rested during the day. I started making the transition around a week ago, to getting back in touch with the outer world, right about the time my girlfriend said that she misses me and who I was before all this happened…I didn’t smile or laugh, just lost in a daze, trying to keep my mind busy doing housework or being increasingly challenged playing the Acey Duce version of Backgammon with my g/f. It’s become “our game” and win or loose, it’s a lot of fun and helps keep our depression at bay.
Some people just don’t put much sacredness into animals, big or small and it’s actually a form of therapy for many of us animal lovers. Your sensitivity only shows your humanness and that you have a heart, which makes you a stronger and better person in the end. My “puppy” was loved on and cuddled throughout the day, as were the other animals and even turned my daughter into a convert. My pup would let out a special cry, when she heard or saw her coming to the house that always told me it was she, often with one or two of my grandsons, which just added to the bonus. More people to play with, YEA, more primal howling…damn I sure miss her…each animal has its own distinctive personality. I think my Pit has OCD, the way he works his blankets around before laying down and he gets this worried look when he sees them disappearing in the washer…
It’s been two weeks or more as I’ve been piecing this together and there’s too much grief to deal with all at once, so allowing myself to work through it in tiny moments. While at the pet food store today I donated a $1 to some wildlife refuge and rehab center in her name and then it was back into the 8 degree cold, blowing snow and my two dogs, anxious for the store treat samples I have in my pocket.
As a further memorial to my “pup-pup”, who would really light up and be ready to play with any kids she could get close to, I decided for this coming Christmas season I’d focus on buying large quantities of toddler through young teen size hoodies, underwear, socks, etc to give to some gift drive for needy kids on sale through Hanes website, which recently gave me a 30% discount incentive on top of the sale prices on certain items. I focus on a specific charity each year for the holidays to give about 80% to and in the past it’s been a woman’s shelter, the ASPCA and Human Society, and the Salvation Army, all of which have touched my life in a significant way at some time in my life.
She warmed a lot of hearts and bought a smile to everyone’s face, as she had that sad puppy dog eyes and look, just waiting for some attention and loving. Then she’d settle down, after the other dogs got their attentions worth too! The healing may take forever, as I can only form simple snapshots, baby steps for now and even that’s a struggle to deal with…
Replies
I\'m sorry for your loss. I hope you have been better able to deal with this lately. Your dogs are very lucky to have an owner who takes care of them and loves them. :)