Still creating! : )
Hello dear mothers.
I am well. Still planning out my healing project: becoming a wellness trainer for people who have endured trauma. I am going to start (operative word: START) to take courses in the coming year. I have faith that if I just keep moving in the direction, interesting and fulfilling and positive things will happen. Open to suggestions and miracles!
Also have been on Weight Watchers online since July 1 and am at 18 lbs off... hoping to get to 20 by the end of the year. I feel so much better without the extra tummy fluff, lol!
Christmas is a hard time of year when you're missing someone, right? It's like the holiday puts a frame around a picture of your life, and when someone you love is not in that picture, ouch. I cried all day Wednesday, on my way home from buying a little tree. *** I wanted to say, "OK Andy, come home now. Please. It's not funny anymore. I need to feel a hug from you." I don't really have any Andy dream-visits so I just hold him in my heart, and absolutely LOVE it when other people bring him up. One friend had a fab dream where they were toking and relating and even though this person had never met him she gave me the conversation and I was blown away at how real it was, how perfectly Andy.
*** Have to say re buying the tree -- last year I couldn't even buy one. We got a live tree and planted it in the front yard. I can't do that again and again but I found the perfect little CHarlie Brown tree so it feels good.
OK I"m off to a concert in Portsmouth now. Just wanted to say hi and I think of you all and hold you in my heart. What a blessing this place is, where people take such good care of each other and understand every pain and sorrow. I have been so fortunate also with my family and friends, and with the facebook group of brain tumor caregivers who know the intensity of that journey.
With peace and love,Sarah
I am well. Still planning out my healing project: becoming a wellness trainer for people who have endured trauma. I am going to start (operative word: START) to take courses in the coming year. I have faith that if I just keep moving in the direction, interesting and fulfilling and positive things will happen. Open to suggestions and miracles!
Also have been on Weight Watchers online since July 1 and am at 18 lbs off... hoping to get to 20 by the end of the year. I feel so much better without the extra tummy fluff, lol!
Christmas is a hard time of year when you're missing someone, right? It's like the holiday puts a frame around a picture of your life, and when someone you love is not in that picture, ouch. I cried all day Wednesday, on my way home from buying a little tree. *** I wanted to say, "OK Andy, come home now. Please. It's not funny anymore. I need to feel a hug from you." I don't really have any Andy dream-visits so I just hold him in my heart, and absolutely LOVE it when other people bring him up. One friend had a fab dream where they were toking and relating and even though this person had never met him she gave me the conversation and I was blown away at how real it was, how perfectly Andy.
*** Have to say re buying the tree -- last year I couldn't even buy one. We got a live tree and planted it in the front yard. I can't do that again and again but I found the perfect little CHarlie Brown tree so it feels good.
OK I"m off to a concert in Portsmouth now. Just wanted to say hi and I think of you all and hold you in my heart. What a blessing this place is, where people take such good care of each other and understand every pain and sorrow. I have been so fortunate also with my family and friends, and with the facebook group of brain tumor caregivers who know the intensity of that journey.
With peace and love,Sarah
Replies
Hi Sarah! So glad to hear that all is well in your part of the universe. Congratulations on the weight loss-18 pounds is quite a lot and certainly not easy to do (especially at our age, right?!). Hope the concert is good-(wonder what you\'ll be listening to?)
I hear you about the roughness of Xmas-time. It\'s like a huge scratch on the Bing Crosby Mellow Christmas LP. But it is great that your friend \"shared\" Andy with you...talk about a wonder-full early Christmas gift!!! You HAVE been a good girl this year, Sarah!!! Love+Hugs, Donna
Yahoo!!! Hi\'ya Sarah!! So good to hear from you. You always bring joy and inspiration to us...so THANKS!
I\'m enjoying a bit of a weight loss myself, thanks to Weigh Watchers....down 15lbs so far....yay me! Yay, you! Hoping to be near my goal by the time our next retreat rolls around.
Enjoy the concert and major KUDOS for staying open for miracles!! I\'m OPEN too, so bring it!
I saw a hot pink (Charlie Brown) Christmas tree the other day....can\'t get it out of my mind.....probably should consider going back and bringing the darn thing in all it\'s gaudiness home! Kala would LOVE it!
Love to you!
Love to Andy!
BTW, I\'ll be taking my Andy bag to Nashville for a week after Christmas! My motto has always been, \"Have suitcase, will travel\".....now I add, \"have Andy bag, will travel with an angel\".
Hi Sarah, It is a time of the year when the picture feels incomplete without our dear kids. I agree...just wish I could say \"Ed, this joke isn\'t funny anymore..time to come on home.\" If only...
Congratulations on the 18lbs you are down! I too have lost some weight so kudos to us and Teri too, lol! It does make a person feel a bit better doesn\'t it?
Enjoy your concert and you will be an amazing wellness trainer. It sounds something you are so cut out to do! Love to you and Andy, Linda
What a beautiful journal. i finelly after 9 years we got a little tree also, my husband brought out this box, and i opened it and there was all Rosalinds christmas dcorations I just cried and cried to touch the things she had held . I felt sick . had to lay down. I hope the concert is great. hugs mary ann
Our group is getting lighter! At least part of it - I have come to terms with my tummy fluff.
This is a hard Christmas - the family portrait has a gaping hole in it. Lisa doesn\'t visit in my dreams but does make herself known in other ways. I do long to hear her voice though.
We went to a concert last night that was not quite what we expected. The audience was 99% under 25. We liked the opening act (we thought she was the main act). Surprisingly, we quite enjoyed the main act. The group is called Mother Mother (Canadian) and quite unique. Unfortunately, it was very very loud and the cheering did not help. All in all I am glad we went. I think we will download some of the tunes so I can listen to them at my level of sound!
I am looking forward to hearing about your wellness training. It sounds intriguing.
Love and hugs, Marlene
Your plans sound great and I know you will be very good at it. However, do not run yourself down. Be sure to give yourself the best care you can. So proud of your continuing cooperation, Abby
You did good and you are an inspiration (I might try weight watchers after the first of the year). Keep up the good work! May your dream from Andy come soon and may you have peace in your heart. Your friend, BW
Concert in Portsmouth NH.. Wow, You are 15 minutes from my house, whats the name of the band? Enjoy the night!!
Your doing great on WW... I need to lose 30lbs, if i lost 20lbs I\'d be happy.. I quit smoking 2 years ago, i can\'t seem to lose weight... After Christmas, I gonna kick ass and workout at the gym, i am determined this winter...If we make it past doomsday!!lol.. I believe we will be still here....
Christmas is so hard to go through, isn\'t it?!?! Love to you and Andy, Heart to Heart!!XO Kelly
Congratulations on the weight loss. I really need to get serious about my diet. I tell myself that every day. I lost a bunch of weight and was actually really worried for awhile about the loss, but the doctor said it was nervous and I guess she was right because after being on anti-depressants now for awhile I have gained 20 pounds.....bah humbug.....but I honestly am feeling so much better emotionally that I don\'t want to stop the meds....Just have to get serious with my diet.
I was blown away by your friend having a dream of Andy and it having a special meaning for you. That is so nice. Some people just don\'t remember their dreams. I haven\'t had a dream of Jason in awhile now -- but I do feel that he is close by.
Sending Love, Terry
So glad you got a tree and a Charlie Brown tree at that. We all need to have a tree, do our best to be HAPPY to chase the tears. Great news on the tummy fluff. I love the term. I would be interested in the brain tumor caregiver group that you are a member of. I too love to hear my Cory in conversation. It is good to know the boys are not forgotten. Hugs, Peggy
Hello Sarah, I\'m so happy to read another journal from you again. It has taken me 13 Christmases to feel in the slightest bit inspired about any aspect of this time of year at all. But I actually feel a bit happier or lighter this year....less separated from Tamzin. Maybe its just because I believe & often feel something real about his \'essence\' is around as much as he ever will be again anyway, so I may as well appreciate that \'real\' possibility and allow myself to feel happy as if he is with me sometimes.
You are going very well and not at all surprisingly strong, with your happy heart Sarah, with Andy always there with& around you as you feel him.
But still we want our big/little babies, our little child to cuddle ....Still at least we had them, we bore them and loved them with everything....I think you know what I mean..I cant make much sense its 1am as usual :) Hope we talk soon :) xxx LOve xxx
Life is moving along as are you. Way to go with the shedding of those pounds and it is amazing how much better one feels without that extra fluffy muffin top. LOL!
Excited to hear how you continue to manifest this next new step in your life and know that it will happen and that the perfect right people will come forward too as that is just how this kind of thing seems to happen.
Love how you began your journal with \"Hello Mothers...\" Caught one of my heartstrings for sure and mothers we will aways BE. It brought a smile.
Loving care dear Sarah and hope you saw where the retreat is going to be this next year. Boston... Not too far from your doorstep. Just sayn...:)
Tight hugs,
Joanie
Love the idea of Charlie Brown Andy is proud and gigling about the tree, I know my son would be. Keep up the Andy dreams
Good luck on the wt and starting school
Hugs Penny
A joke, a bad joke, if only...we would all love for our child to come walking through the door. Congrats on the weight loss - it is a constant battle for me. Take care. Sue