Still chugging along...
I promised myself that I would write in my journal more --- so here goes! I am GF today and have been since last year!!! Sounds good, huh? Ok, 12-31-09 was my last day to gamble --- and this new found freedom feels good, real good. Still reading journals and doing a little bit of commenting. I dont feel that I could give anyone advice --- It's just too, too early for me. I'm still working on me and taking advice. Maybe someday... I haven't had any "urges" so to speak -- but thoughts are constantly popping in my head. I have been working to change my thoughts to more positive ideas when the "same old negative, lets go gamble" thoughts invade me. So far, so good. Maybe that's why I havent had any urges, because I'm stopping the thoughts before they can grow into an urge. My self esteem seems higher, I am more patient with people, I actually listen and pay attention when they are talking, I am getting chores and tasks done at the house, I've been cooking dinner -- AND cleaning the kitchen afterwards, been visiting friends the last two weekends. And... I have a little money. That sure feels good not to be so broke. Last weekend I had my oil changed and paid cash for it. Usually I would put it off as long as possible and then put it on my CC. I am going to the dentist today and I have $100 cash to pay my deductible and copay. NO CC -- YAH, Dentist --- Ugghh!!! I started a savings account and have actually transferred money into it last payday. I guess what I'm saying is ---- I must be doing something right because it sure feels good. And I dont want to lose this feeling. GF sure feels good...........................
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