Still can't post to the group

I read the posts and write a response and then delete it. I come back here where I guess I feel safe. I don't want to be negative. The latest post about what people ask/say, really hit home. No one asks me how I am. The teacher friend I have who also is a widow asks, sometimes it is just a look, but I know she cares. I wonder what I did to make my family turn their back on me at a time I really need them. No one calls. I guess they are busy with their own lives. I am there for them when they need me. Why can't they do the same for me!? Just one call, "hey I was thinking about you today", would be nice. I feel like an orphan. I guess no good deed goes unpunished. I guess I am paying the price for being a private person and not talking about my feelings. Vince wasn't always a nice guy, but he was my best friend and I did love him. I know he hurt members of my family, but I feel I am paying the price for that. Not only do I feel alone because my husband died, but I feel alone because my family has abandon me. I need to stop writing and do something else, I don't want to start feeling sorry for myself. Even though I think I already am.