Still Bored
Nothing happened today. I wanted to go out, but it looked like it was going to rain any minute. I'm going to try and go to the gym tomorrow just to get out of the apartment and away from this boredom! I think I might be depressed or something... these dreams are driving me crazy. Last night it was partially the school from Pink Floyd's The Wall and just everything going insane and people dying everywhere, chaos reins. I had other bad dreams, too, but I don't remember them as well. I got 12 hours of sleep last night (from midnight to noon) but I'm still exhausted. I've barely been able to get out of bed. I've been hungry off and on- either really hungry or so disgusted by food I want to barf. I've been wondering what I've been doing with my days lately to pass the time- time seems to just go on and on and I'm so bored! Before this weekend, I had stuff going on and I wasn't bored all the time. I have to go to Target tomorrow to get Geo's prescriptions, so that should get me out of the house and less bored.
I'm fighting going back to sleep. I'm tired, but I slept so much last night that I don't want to oversleep. Plus, it's only 9pm and I don't take my meds until 9:30. I'm supposed to talk to my cousin later (I called her for her daughter's birthday today) and I want to be awake to talk to her. She said she was surprised at how well her kids and I got along. She doesn't know how much time I've spent with kids growing up- watching and taking care of kids was what I did for years. She said that people who don't have kids normally don't for a reason, but she said I would make a great mom. That was nice to hear, but I know I'm not ready for kids at this point. If I'm not in the next 4-5 years, then I guess my chance for kids will have passed (I'm 28). I know I could have kids when I'm a bit older, but I don't know how stable I'm going to be tomorrow, not to mention 10 years from now. I'm hoping things get better.
Food: Today I had leftover chicken and a Greek yogurt for breakfast, a salad and some pasta for lunch, and regular dinner. I also had a bit of ice cream for desert. I'm thinking about starting to count my calories, but I'm a bit scared at the prospect. I guess that means I should do it even more, just as a reality check. My scale said I'm losing weight. I don't know how, but whatever. I guess I should be happy, but my scale "lies"- doesn't give the correct weight all the time. I weighed twice in a row and got the same number (249.5) so I guess it's right.
Tomorrow's food: I'm going to wake up at 10, eat an oatmeal and a Greek yogurt, then some pasta and a salad for lunch, and regular dinner. I probably will have some ice cream again for desert, just to see what a calorie count for an average day is.
I'm fighting going back to sleep. I'm tired, but I slept so much last night that I don't want to oversleep. Plus, it's only 9pm and I don't take my meds until 9:30. I'm supposed to talk to my cousin later (I called her for her daughter's birthday today) and I want to be awake to talk to her. She said she was surprised at how well her kids and I got along. She doesn't know how much time I've spent with kids growing up- watching and taking care of kids was what I did for years. She said that people who don't have kids normally don't for a reason, but she said I would make a great mom. That was nice to hear, but I know I'm not ready for kids at this point. If I'm not in the next 4-5 years, then I guess my chance for kids will have passed (I'm 28). I know I could have kids when I'm a bit older, but I don't know how stable I'm going to be tomorrow, not to mention 10 years from now. I'm hoping things get better.
Food: Today I had leftover chicken and a Greek yogurt for breakfast, a salad and some pasta for lunch, and regular dinner. I also had a bit of ice cream for desert. I'm thinking about starting to count my calories, but I'm a bit scared at the prospect. I guess that means I should do it even more, just as a reality check. My scale said I'm losing weight. I don't know how, but whatever. I guess I should be happy, but my scale "lies"- doesn't give the correct weight all the time. I weighed twice in a row and got the same number (249.5) so I guess it's right.
Tomorrow's food: I'm going to wake up at 10, eat an oatmeal and a Greek yogurt, then some pasta and a salad for lunch, and regular dinner. I probably will have some ice cream again for desert, just to see what a calorie count for an average day is.
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