Still Angry

Maybe someone's right about me being more angry with myself...for not turning my back sooner...argg!!!...I loved him too much and forgot to love me...when i broke up with him..I chose me..but can't really let go..I had so many doubts about myself...but I knew I never want to feel that miserable when I was with him... Do you know when you can't step forward but can't step back as well..it's like that..I no longer miss him..but I still wonder..and just fight myself not to think about him..because when I do think about him...I get angry..really angry..he used to be the reminder of all the good things I have..now he reminds me of hate and anger and heartbreak... I don't know if I already forgiven him..this must be the biggest lie I told him...that I already forgave him...