Still alive.....

You know, I am just so idle.  Just existing.  My body has become so much of a burden.  I ache all over and I cant sleep at night.  I do not get my chores done.  I am not able to function in a normal way at all.  I do not know where to turn to find the light.  I feel like I have looked everywhere and all I find is darkness.   The things I know I need, I cannot obtain.  Counseling, a psychiatrist, etc.  No one in that field will take my insurance here.  Tons of doctors and tons of people and if you have Medicare/medicaid - forget it!  I have screamed for help and screamed some more.  No use in fighting any longer.  The earth will take my body back one day.  Until then I will just exist...................