Stil trying to be positive
But I think I am failing miserably. I have been very sad and melancholy for the last week. I keep doing some of the things I used to enjoy, but they seem hollow.
Last night at about 12:30 we got a thunderstorm with lots of rain, thunder and lightning. I sat on the back porch for almost and hour in it. It was beautiful. He used to always laugh at me whenever we would get actual weather. Hey, I live in Ca. weather is an oddity here. I remember my first snow storm. I had just moved to Hesperia and had never been in one. I kept the poor guy up all night with 5 minute updates, "IT'S STILL SNOWING!" he was like " Geez, it's only snow, come to bed".
I would sell my soul to have him here bitching at me about dog hair on the couch. I seem to be retreating into my memories of him way to much. I need to focus on the future.
I almost have the $6,000 I need to redo the roof. I only need $1,900 more and I haven't sold his Jeep yet, but have a lot of people who are interested. Now if the swamp cooler will just make it through the summer, I will have some breathing room to get a new one and convert from a propane water heater to an electric one. Propane is $3.79 a gallon here. I was thinking of having them take their tank and just buying a 20 gal one. I can buy propane at the gas station for around $2.20 a gal. That's almost $32 dollars less than if I buy through the propane companies.
My mostest, I still miss you every minute of everyday. I know you would want for me to be happy and live/love again. I promise I will do my best. I love you Big Guy.
Last night at about 12:30 we got a thunderstorm with lots of rain, thunder and lightning. I sat on the back porch for almost and hour in it. It was beautiful. He used to always laugh at me whenever we would get actual weather. Hey, I live in Ca. weather is an oddity here. I remember my first snow storm. I had just moved to Hesperia and had never been in one. I kept the poor guy up all night with 5 minute updates, "IT'S STILL SNOWING!" he was like " Geez, it's only snow, come to bed".
I would sell my soul to have him here bitching at me about dog hair on the couch. I seem to be retreating into my memories of him way to much. I need to focus on the future.
I almost have the $6,000 I need to redo the roof. I only need $1,900 more and I haven't sold his Jeep yet, but have a lot of people who are interested. Now if the swamp cooler will just make it through the summer, I will have some breathing room to get a new one and convert from a propane water heater to an electric one. Propane is $3.79 a gallon here. I was thinking of having them take their tank and just buying a 20 gal one. I can buy propane at the gas station for around $2.20 a gal. That's almost $32 dollars less than if I buy through the propane companies.
My mostest, I still miss you every minute of everyday. I know you would want for me to be happy and live/love again. I promise I will do my best. I love you Big Guy.
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