Sticking My Head In

I know I should probably journal more.  I've been between wanting to and actually doing it.  It's been almost a year, only a year, and I'm still in mourning of what had been, was and could have been.
So what's going on, now?  If one could imagine a picture of a tiny kitchen chair and a big-@ss woman hiding behind it with the John Cena's catch phrase "You can't see me!" as the overhead caption...  that would be me.  I know I'm having an exasperation.  I know it's probably bad enough that my husband who makes Dr. Spock (from Star Trek) look like an emotional wreck gave me the stink eye when I said that I'd rather not go to the ER and it'll prolly pass if I sit in my chair and just do nothing for the day.  But I don't wanna!
Don't get me wrong; all the nurses, doctors and staff at St. Barnabas (in Livingston, NJ) are awesome.  I adore the people I've met there... but I'd rather see them in the local diner or the mall!  Two things NJ is famous for.
Okie... finished whining... mostly because I forgot what I was going to say next.  Dang, even my typing is stammering now!
Peace