Stepping from the darkness to the light
Well I spoke to a widow last night and she and I had very similar things happen to our partners, but it was an unguarded, free tell all and it really helped, we spoke for 5 hours and that had removed a lot of tension and knowing someone else is going through this helps and she said a common thing I see here on the widow/widower support group. Everyone treats you like a broken person or they either don't know what to say or how to say it. Just talking helps and when it is someone with a common bond it is so much easier.
After last night, I have taken more steps back into the light and the darkness that was starting to feel like a safe area is now looking like a bad place to stay too long in.
I say if you have the chance to talk to a widow/widower please do it and you be suprised how much in common you have and the bond you make is something that will be for life, as they know the pain youare going through and can relate to it and also help with the grieving process.
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Great advice, Mal! Thanks for sharing...<3 And just as a reminder: be sure to click on the icon for adding DS community of friends. If you are having a concern with how to approach for friends, be alert to the CLs (community leaders); they can guide you to how to use this support site in a useful way. Start adding friends right away, and I hope that many will be moved to send you a personal request for friendship. Very often, as we are widows and widowers, we get in that seasick feeling of grief and it's not easy to want to do anything. Quite a choopy day, so to speak. As far as the eye can see, there are many good people aboard this DS support site. Take your time and get to know as many members as you can though. Pay close attention to the incoming; they are somewhat timid and unprepared. I was very awkward myself while posting in this group, which I do care to keep friendly contact with many already here. I care for all. <3
Best!
I'm finding it's really helpful to be able to talk with other people who are in this journey with us. Lot of friends and family don't know what to say or how to be around us. So they walk on eggshells around us. So sometimes I just hold it in to spare people. Which doesn't help anyone. Lost my wife 29 days ago now and I know the dark place you're talking about. It seems safe, but we can't stay there and live a good life. I'm around.