Stepping
Made it through the first contact calls to a handful of contractors for the remodel on the outbuilding I am imagining as an aeroponics lab. I have only netted two appointments so far, but feel like it is a healthy start. The first appointment is this afternoon. The second is tomorrow afternoon. I hope. Phone conversations are so iffy for me that I am forever expecting to discover I heard wrong, even through multiple confirmations. We see what grows.
I am still feeling weepy. This morning I believe I am grieving the loss of my mother role in Texas. I donae believe I am losing that role as much as I am giving it room to evolve. The "Kiddos" ain't kids no more. Habits that worked for parenting teenagers are downright dysfunctional when plied to middle-aged folks. Changing shared habits is no small feat. Hell. . . Even agreeing on which habits are in need of changing is no small feat. It is amazing how different perspectives can be for the smallest shift in position.
I am still plying Mindfulness exercises as I process the grief. It is important, but losing my current day to ^it^ seems counter-productive. Stepping small, praying big and holding the love sacred.
Replies
The "normal" way of things is that the kids move out, but why not the mother? Quite frankly, if it works for you (and is seems to), then that's the best way.
From this side of the fence...it actually looks rather good.
Ugh.....I share your pain....my dear son is 'the tear factory' for me. Letting go of 21 years of constant love, stress and focus I'm not sure if I'll ever find my way to ha ha 'normal', purpose and structure.
I try to think of my tears as washing away my pain, and cleaning my eyes so I can see more clearly. Sometimes this works, other times it's Huge Prayer for his Greatest Good....putting God in control where I've lost .... and probably a good thing too for John...my need to control.
Best of luck with your contractors!!! Take care :)