Staying Strong

The holiday weekend was really tough.   I had a lot of mixed emotions but NO desire to contact xAP.  I haven't blocked his cell but have made a point to do early this week.  xAP tried his best to catch my attention by calling & long miss you texts and sweet pics.  But for some reason they made me angry.  I tried to focus all my attention on my family. .grandkids but I felt empty.  I know I have to go through this NC process so I can eventually forgive myself.  This.is realky hard.  All my fantasies are gone.  So much precious time wasted on this A.  For what?  For nothing!