Staying Postive not so easy !!!!
So I guess I need to step back & take some deep breaths !!!! The staying positive thing hasent been quit so easy this last week or 2 :( Partly because I quit drinking MtDew & partly because the ex caught me totally off guard !!! I thought I had him blocked from contacting me but somehow he got ahold of a alternate email I just as my junk email. He sent me 3 ecards , a bday card which I honestly didn't think he would remember, a Chinese New Year card & to really twist the knife in a Valentinsday card. Funny he never even acknoladged Vday in the past !!! Anyway it just totally caught me off guard & messed up my head pretty good. However I know I'll get over it. However now Im worried about vday because he was sure I would contact him after I got the cards & I haven't so im afraid hes accually going to DO something for vday in a despreat ploy to get me to respond !!!!! So I have to just keep it together & see what happens & hope im wrong lol !!! I so wish he would just get out of my life & stay out !!!! All this snow & crap hasent helped me eather !!!! However I know I WILL get back to being positive soon. I am trying to make myself do & say positive things & it gets better here & there . I wouldn't say im depressed just very frustrated !!! Its ok though I know it will get better soon. I will not allow this to keep me down !!!! I have much to do this year :) I did go out to Hocking Hills & get some great pics out there !!!! Might even post some on here :) See feeling better already :)
Replies
ooooo would love to see some pics!! sounds like you\'re holding strong!! way to go!!
just wanted to double check that you are not \"trying to stay positive\" in a denial pollyanna kind of way are you? you are not invalidating yourself are you?? my aunt is like that. and it\'s super dysfunctional. on the other hand staying positive when it\'s not at a cost to yourself is an admirable thing. it\'s okay to feel negative things sometimes...especially when you\'re frustrated. i do hope it ends soon too so you can feel better again. less frustrated. is the frustration mostly about your ex??
just caring about you...wanting to support you!! i can see how hard you are trying....
I allowed myself to get upset when I first saw the cards. Not going to lie I totally busted out crying & was upset most of that evening. However its been over a week now & its time to be done with it you know !!! Im frustrated that hes still trying to contact me , that he woulnt just go away but I mostly frustrated that hes still in my head !!!! I think about him WAY too much still !!!! However I know its a process & things will get better eventually :)