Starting to second guess myself
I have been on here tonight reading and catching up with friends when I got to thinking. Am I wacked or what. I feel great. And I dont know if thats a good thing or not. I see friends on here that have made progress and I am so happy for them. Because I know it feels so much better than where we were a few months ago but then I see people that cant move on and feel bad for them. Its horrble to be stuck in that dark place and wish that i could help them out of there. I know what has worked for me wont work for everybody. I love to keep Bruces memory alive. I have his garden I have pictures that are all over my house. I listen to music that we loved so much. I feel like he is still with me. If I see a hawk,well then thats Bruce letting me know he's watching out for me. If I dream of him, well then thats him coming to visit me for a little chat.Now I'm starting to wonder if I'm in denial. I know he's gone. I love where I am at right now emotinally. I dont see anything wrong with how I'm coping. I just hope its normal and I'm not losing it. In the summer when I go out to his garden and start talking to him I hope my neighbors dont have me comitted. I hope everyone can someday get to this point in their grief. I'm surprised I did, I didnt think this day would ever come. It feels good. Ya I'm not the same person I was before Bruce passed, but thats not always a bad thing.
Replies
I just sent you a message...I think we have to do things in our own way to get to a point of going on...I still talk to Rodger (yes it is spelled with a D)..I see him all around me..we lived here in this house for 20 years and was married over 40 years....I am better like you, but have bad days now and then also...I think the way you handle it is the best way for you!! Love you! Glenda
You are NOT whacked at all, you are finding that light at the end of this awful tunnel. I am so happy for you. I am trying hard to get there, but may have my own personal issues that are keeping me back. Guess I just have to work harder at that, and I will. There is nothing wrong with how you are coping, it is WORKING my friend and that is truly what counts. If you are going to be committed, then I am too because I talk to JIm all the time outside, mostly asking him what I should be doing to move forward. To move forward to the point where you have reached. I am so happy for you and comforted by knowing that possibly I may get there too sometime... Hugs, Alice
However you are coping, it is working for you. You are NOT wacked. You are coping . I can tell a diffrence in your journal . I can tell you are better, you have moved on towards the light again.It is not just good for you, but encouraging for me. Lori you are giving those of us who are still facing the darkness HOPE. That is what it is all about any way.Hope and Love.Peggy
I don\'t think your wacked at all. Some of us deal with this Journey a little different than others do and that\'s Ok. I am one of those who still have a hard time without my husband here. I do have good days though but then I have bad days too. I talk to Jesse all the time, when I go for walks, when I am just sitting here at home, when I\'m driving and I feel him with me all the time. I am working at getting better and I know I will. You are doing good and I am very happy for you. When I have good day\'s it really feel\'s good, I know I will have more of those kind of days to come. I take comfort in knowing that there is Hope and you give me that Hope.....Hugs.....Stella