Starting this journey...again

I am starting this journey again.  I can either berate myself for my past failures or decide to be positive. It is not from a lack of knowledge that I suffer, just a lack of faith in myself and my body.  I do not look forward to what lies ahead, because I know the struggles that await.  My body does not help me (APO E 4/4 gene), nor does my childhood diet or my stressful job.   However, I am now at a place that I have to decide in what I believe.  Do I really believe that my health and body are more important than immediate gratification?  What do I want to look like at my son's high school graduation next year?  How do I want to look in the pictures when my daughter graduates from college in three years?  How do I want to feel when my husband and I become empty nesters?  I want to look and feel great, SO, let the journey begin.