Starting A New Life....... I Hold The Key To My Future..
Thanks to all of you who read my Journal from last night and responded with such Heart Felt Emotion you touched my Heart all of you. What most of you don't know is that right after I wrote that there was a knock at my door and it was my Lawyer he is also a good friend of mine. He had my Final Divorce Papers to be signed. He thought he would bring them to me instead of me having to take time off work to go downtown to his office. Plus he thought it would give me the rest of the weekend to look over them and take them to a Notary sometime next week. I stared at the sealed manilla folder all night I never even opened it. I just couldn't. I really didn't want to have another crappy night after I was feeling so much better.
So this morning I got up went to church, had breakfast with my best girlfriend, then we went to and signed up for the Pink Ladies Bowling League with 4 other of our teacher girlfriends. It's going to be on Monday nights it's great we get our own PINK BOWLING BALL, PINK TEAM BOWLING SHIRTS, AND DRINK PINK COCKTAILS..... That bowling alley is going to look like someone threw up PEPTO BISMOL EVERYWHERE. I LOVE PINK.... Anyway then I came home and signed Austin and I up for a Mommy and Me cooking class at the ymca starting in a couple weeks. Between that and my Divorce Care support group that starts on the 12th I think I am starting to reconnect with the world again.
When I got the papers it was like ok here they are this is the end no more lying to myself, no more waiting for a Miracle, the funny thing is that this morning when I woke up I realized that God had been giving me my answer I just wouldn't quiet down enough to hear. This morning in the total quiet of the early morning watching the sun come up and shine through my bedroom blindes I heard him. I got my answer. I didn;t have to wait for the MIRACLE anymore because the Miracle is happening right now. It's called LIFE AND I HAVE BEEN MISSING IT. I thought that my Husband coming back was the Miracle I was waiting for but the MIRACLE IS THAT HE LEFT!!!!! SO I CAN DO ALL THE THINGS I WAS MEANT TO DO, THE THINGS GOD HAS BEEN WAITING FOR ME TO DO WITH MY LIFE. But I didn't because I used my Husband as an excuse.
I'm Teaching Kindergarten, I'm Teaching Music and giving my students a voice, I'm learning to speak Italian which my dad is over the moon about, I'm bowling in a league with my friends and co workers, I'm tutoring our special needs kids a couple days a week. I'M COOKING WITH MY SON!!!!! I'm helping my Daughter get through College, and I'm a Proud Member of Daily Strength where I hope I am helping others like me find their way again after Divorce. WE ARE THE MIRACLE!!! TO BE ABLE TO GET UP EVERY MORNING AND FACE A NEW DAY AFTER THE PAIN WE HAVE ENDURED IS A MIRACLE. That we chose LIFE instead of lying down to DIE is a MIRACLE. That none of us ARE ALONE IS A MIRACLE!!!!! Get busy Living or Get busy DYING!!! I have decided not to waste another minute of my LIFE on a selfish little boy who never knew how great he had it and START SHOWING HIM WHAT HE THREW AWAY....... WE ARE THE MIRACLE GOD JUST HAD TO GET RID OF THE OBSTICLE IN OUR WAY SO WE COULD FLY!!!!!!!!!!
So this morning I got up went to church, had breakfast with my best girlfriend, then we went to and signed up for the Pink Ladies Bowling League with 4 other of our teacher girlfriends. It's going to be on Monday nights it's great we get our own PINK BOWLING BALL, PINK TEAM BOWLING SHIRTS, AND DRINK PINK COCKTAILS..... That bowling alley is going to look like someone threw up PEPTO BISMOL EVERYWHERE. I LOVE PINK.... Anyway then I came home and signed Austin and I up for a Mommy and Me cooking class at the ymca starting in a couple weeks. Between that and my Divorce Care support group that starts on the 12th I think I am starting to reconnect with the world again.
When I got the papers it was like ok here they are this is the end no more lying to myself, no more waiting for a Miracle, the funny thing is that this morning when I woke up I realized that God had been giving me my answer I just wouldn't quiet down enough to hear. This morning in the total quiet of the early morning watching the sun come up and shine through my bedroom blindes I heard him. I got my answer. I didn;t have to wait for the MIRACLE anymore because the Miracle is happening right now. It's called LIFE AND I HAVE BEEN MISSING IT. I thought that my Husband coming back was the Miracle I was waiting for but the MIRACLE IS THAT HE LEFT!!!!! SO I CAN DO ALL THE THINGS I WAS MEANT TO DO, THE THINGS GOD HAS BEEN WAITING FOR ME TO DO WITH MY LIFE. But I didn't because I used my Husband as an excuse.
I'm Teaching Kindergarten, I'm Teaching Music and giving my students a voice, I'm learning to speak Italian which my dad is over the moon about, I'm bowling in a league with my friends and co workers, I'm tutoring our special needs kids a couple days a week. I'M COOKING WITH MY SON!!!!! I'm helping my Daughter get through College, and I'm a Proud Member of Daily Strength where I hope I am helping others like me find their way again after Divorce. WE ARE THE MIRACLE!!! TO BE ABLE TO GET UP EVERY MORNING AND FACE A NEW DAY AFTER THE PAIN WE HAVE ENDURED IS A MIRACLE. That we chose LIFE instead of lying down to DIE is a MIRACLE. That none of us ARE ALONE IS A MIRACLE!!!!! Get busy Living or Get busy DYING!!! I have decided not to waste another minute of my LIFE on a selfish little boy who never knew how great he had it and START SHOWING HIM WHAT HE THREW AWAY....... WE ARE THE MIRACLE GOD JUST HAD TO GET RID OF THE OBSTICLE IN OUR WAY SO WE COULD FLY!!!!!!!!!!
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