started counseling today

today is actually the same day that it happened. ironic how i satrted therapy today.so my apt was very early in the morning.well my day started off i dunno what to call it. i didnt get any sleep. then i ate burgerking french toast sticks for beakfast. then my mom droped me off near my apt. had time to waist so i te sausage mcmuffin. lol i really dont want to make a habbit of this.anwayz it was ok. like not great no bad just ok. im glad i finally got to talk to someoe, but, it was just more questions having to do with insurance ect. i did cry a bit. i didnt like some of the questions. bc first impression is everything and it almost feels ike passing judjment on me.im not going to give up though.so over all i didnt like it but it was ok i just need more time:( well in other news lol.i really wish that guy woud call me from yesterday. lol maybe i will walk my dog by his house and he will be outside.also, last night i saw my friend  jroc, he didnt look ok it was the third time i saw him like that i think i will ask him whats wrong the next time i see him.i took a long nap. well i guess today wasnt the gretest day ever but i got threw it and its not done:(i tried to book some shows but i dunno how its going to turn out. blah blh blh.but a positive thing did happen that i for got abuot. today i siad im ready to change im ready to  be myself gain and be better thn i ever was.i guess by reading thi it doesnt seem like i thought that to day but i did loli was pretty happy when i thoght about it. i aso thought about my career,i wnt it to be way better than it has ever been. im ready for success. oh yes nd when i had my nap i had a bad dream about my court case ect. just like doubts ect. i didnt like the bad dream loli wish i had my own place to stay. maybe my ex will let me stay at his place since i helped him get his stupid job in the first place.just for a week or two. i just need some air from this place