Stalling II
Whichever way the waters of my life flow from here, a soft wrap is in order. Each progress on the remodel project has left its own little piles of refuse and disorder in its wake. Tools are scattered and there are always more touch-ups to be done on the finished portions. Still I have no clarity on the next step, but I think I'll take Mother Teresa's advice on how to change the world and just do what is in front of me. There's no shortage on that list.
The cattle in the pasture have been seeking refuge from the cruel, dusty heat in the shadier parts of the north pasture. I miss watching their morning grazing in the corner of the south pasture outside the living room window.
Among the psycho rumbles in the current stalling is that shift in my perception of the river region. Do I still wanna be a river rat now that it comes complete with homeowner responsibilities? Like I need more homeowner responsibilities, complete with obligations to one of the five State Flags (Indiana, Illinois, Missouri. Arkansas and Kentucky) of the river region. . . What was I thinking? Was I thinking or *just* psychopating again?
Replies
You were thinking that a solid base camp was preferable to the motel shuffles. Having a base camp/vacation resort to get you through the next month or two of Texas heat would be worth the hassle of homeownership, in my book anyway. I hope the soft rap of the river region gets you to take the trip to see what summer has done to the snow shed that had you chilly a few months ago.
Thank you for the reminder, Sis. Somewhere over the Breach of Contract fiasco, I have even found myself embarrassed to call the building, "The Base Camp." Have my river dreams really evolved from the ride down the Mississippi with ol' Mark Twain? Half a century of vacations and psychotherapy retreats do not a river rat make. Have my "delusions of grandeur" bitten me in the ass again?
Alas, the river region isn't much of a break from the heat. It is a few degrees cooler with at least 50% more humidity. Dry desert heat really does feel cooler than the humid wetland heat. Sorta. Pick your poison.
Still. . . That web of rivers is one hell of a compensation, even when the river serves as a political boundary.
Taking is one step at a time sounds like the right step to take right now. It sounds so overwhelming, Arfie but I know you are strong. Perhaps the “stalling” is just a reminder from you mind & body to handling things gently and let things fall in or out of place as they will without allowing the uncontrollable to put pressure on you, and to prevent the pressure from making you feel you lost control.
I don’t know for sure, it’s just an opinion but I’m learning in my situation stalling is a hint & then warning if ignored that I just need to step back & just pause for the flood of things overloading me to recede enough to be able to see my goals. Granted, I’m often oblivious to hints & warnings tend to become “optional”, so I’m probably a bad example. But maybe there’s something useful in sharing this.
Still, as always & beyond, I support you & send you hope, hugs, and comfort.
Wishing you peace & all the best, Arfie.
Thank you, Vltava. Herstorically, I have created far more damage by trying harder than I have by doing nothing. My early peer supporters reminded me often that I am a human being, not a human doing. On your mark. Get set. SIT!!!
"Understanding is like a butterfly. The harder you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you sit quietly on a hillside, it may land gently on your shoulder." ~Author Unknown
That is a beautiful quote, Arfie. I’ll need to keep it in mind as I’ve been chasing too many “butterflies” lately, trying too hard to “catch” them, that I keep tripping & falling cause I’m not watching where I’m going.
Beautiful reminder. Thanks.
Hugs & strength, Arfie.
((((arfie)))). I like the Mother Theresa approach, and perhaps there is guidance in the form of nature as the cattle shows you, their behavior is based strictly on their comfort zone for there decision on grazing~ triple hugs