staggering on...!
My dear friends
I haven't written for a little while - D and I have been at various hospitals every day this week, plus had a guest staying (my wonderful mum - a stalwart in the garden, and she's quite transformed it! So lovely, as neither D nor I have been able to do anything there for a few weeks).
D had a scan today, but we won't get the results till a week on Monday (unless we get a phonecall at the end of next week. A possibility) - it seems like this has become almost routine, and I think I'm expecting to hear 'stable'. Oh dear, it will be a shock if anything different and I shouldn't be counting chickens, I know. The nerves are there, as ever, but it's a case of heads down and try not to think about it for the next 10 days. Having them every 6 weeks means that they come around all too soon...your prayers will never go amiss...
He's still in a lot of pain when walking, and I do feel that his horizons are narrowing a little, which makes me so sad - the next step would have to be a wheelchair, and he's incredibly anti that. Which I completely understand. It's not the cancer that's directly causing the pain, we don't think, but rather 'referred pain' from the pelvic tumour, plus the fact that his thigh muscle is seriously wasted. So he's going to see a physio for this on Tuesday, plus a 'bio-mechanic' (??) for problems he has with his heel due to his difficult gait when walking. So I'm hoping so much that he'll get back some of his ability to walk without extreme pain. We were in York yesterday, and he was reduced to tears by pain and frustration, which was just awful to see.
And yet - in general he feels good emotionally, and still really believes in the possibility of cure. This is the essential key to his keeping going I think.
I got my cast off yesterday, and it's been replaced with something that looks like a gigantic ski-boot! Not at all attractive, and very hot, but at least I can put a little weight on it, which makes things like hanging out the washing that much easier. (It was a bit of a side-show, watching me doing it on one leg!). Friends keep telling me how stoical I'm being (they wouldn't think so if they could see inside my head!), but honestly to whine and complain would really make a mockery of what my darling D, and so many others, are going through.
I think of all of you each day, and send much love.
I haven't written for a little while - D and I have been at various hospitals every day this week, plus had a guest staying (my wonderful mum - a stalwart in the garden, and she's quite transformed it! So lovely, as neither D nor I have been able to do anything there for a few weeks).
D had a scan today, but we won't get the results till a week on Monday (unless we get a phonecall at the end of next week. A possibility) - it seems like this has become almost routine, and I think I'm expecting to hear 'stable'. Oh dear, it will be a shock if anything different and I shouldn't be counting chickens, I know. The nerves are there, as ever, but it's a case of heads down and try not to think about it for the next 10 days. Having them every 6 weeks means that they come around all too soon...your prayers will never go amiss...
He's still in a lot of pain when walking, and I do feel that his horizons are narrowing a little, which makes me so sad - the next step would have to be a wheelchair, and he's incredibly anti that. Which I completely understand. It's not the cancer that's directly causing the pain, we don't think, but rather 'referred pain' from the pelvic tumour, plus the fact that his thigh muscle is seriously wasted. So he's going to see a physio for this on Tuesday, plus a 'bio-mechanic' (??) for problems he has with his heel due to his difficult gait when walking. So I'm hoping so much that he'll get back some of his ability to walk without extreme pain. We were in York yesterday, and he was reduced to tears by pain and frustration, which was just awful to see.
And yet - in general he feels good emotionally, and still really believes in the possibility of cure. This is the essential key to his keeping going I think.
I got my cast off yesterday, and it's been replaced with something that looks like a gigantic ski-boot! Not at all attractive, and very hot, but at least I can put a little weight on it, which makes things like hanging out the washing that much easier. (It was a bit of a side-show, watching me doing it on one leg!). Friends keep telling me how stoical I'm being (they wouldn't think so if they could see inside my head!), but honestly to whine and complain would really make a mockery of what my darling D, and so many others, are going through.
I think of all of you each day, and send much love.
Replies