Stabilizing? II
Is it possible to know when a stabilizing trend has begun? On my strictly personal trail of tears, confidence that I have ^it^ licked, am over ^it^, etcetera, etceteri, have a way of turning out to be bear traps that are nowhere near as easy to escape as they are to step into. Increasingly, I believe the heart and soul of my chaos addiction is that fear of entrapment. It's harder to trap a moving target. Hop lightly and my weight won't snap the trap. Better yet, stick to the tree tops.
Furthermore, in its developmental phases, stability is extremely fragile. A baby will fall on its butt quite allot over the course of learning how to walk. At 11 months, Baby Sis has been providing quite the graphic aid on that analogy since she started walking a few weeks ago. The undaunted style with which she rises after every fall is an inspiration to us all.
Is my increased toe-tapping a sign that the extra rest has paid off? We are still waiting on the finishing touches for the new house and quite ready to say, "Fuck you slow-moving assholes. It's only a day's work and I am sick of waiting on *your* convenience!"
Beehaving now. . . Don't go voiding warranties. . .
Sigh. . .
Replies
For me "stable" has to be measured as "compared to what?" for me to get a sense of what it means. As in as compared to the latest PTSD earthquake in my life. And as you say, arfie, it is fragile indeed.
I use "stable" and "sustainable" interchangeably. If I can hold the same course I was navigating last month/year, I have achieved stability or sustainability. The Catch 22 is that Day One of a new course never seems to mark itself on the calendar. Even while wearing my 20/20 hindsight glasses, Day One is hard to figure and remains fragile on Day 2020.
Sigh. . . Where are my guarantees? Are extended warranty plans available?
Sigh again. . .
Ah waiting the test to us all....never been good at it but I'm learning...and you my dear are a good teacher!
Hoping the stability continues. Support for that continuing.
Im starting to wonder if stability really exist....I hope you finally feel that feeling. For me..its just elusive no matter how hard I try:(