Stabilizing?
This Monday went as smoothly last week's. With the children safely delivered to their respective schools, I still feel tired and unfocused, but not quite so much as last week. At least I was able to make it to the feed store for chicken/chick feed and egg cartons. While the flock is still too small for commercial production, I have more eggs than our family of five can eat. Even the dog is getting sick of eggs. I keep egg cartons handy in the event that some willing soul cares to take a dozen eggs home with them. I'm thinking about delivering some to neighbors as presents.
I had planned to do the grocery shopping, as well, but forgot the list and decided to go back into town for the grocery haul. I amnae even close to trusting my memory enough to remember everything that was on that sizeable list.
The frantic rollercoaster ride of this past six months has left the entire farm in a state of neglect. Good luck taking 3 steps here without something in need of doing. Less and less of that neglect has making it over my current give-a-damn hurdle as this hysterical rollercoaster ride has droned on and on and on and. . . It remains exhausting to even think about that accumulated neglect. I'm working to detach from the accumulation and take ^it^ one task at a time. Think I'll make my next task a nice, restful bath.
Replies
Amen to self care Arfie :) Come on over to CT and sell your eggs at 5.00+ per carton...yup that's what organic free range go for!!! Do me a favor, when you decide to re-attach to domestic chores and farm to do's let me know how you re-attach....I got the detach down...distractions abound. Yesterday as I distracted once again from am to pm I came across a video that touched me about my life of nothingness. Thinking of you going Full Force, well Damn Woman you are Amazing!!! Hoping your bath contained some lavender and Epsom salts :)
Miro, could really relate to your reply.
Arfie, support as you play catch up.
It's so nice that you're thinking of giving your eggs to your neighbours for Christmas.... That's cool!!
One task at a time sounds like a good way to re engage..... Big squishy hug and a blessing sweetie....xo
Hm-m-m-m-m. . . Now ya got me wondering if my ignoration of the farm chores, etc., might be closer to dissociation than detachment. Starting around 2002, when my sons were coming of age and I still believed in life after parenthood, the detachment of finding a new life for myself while allowing them to become men was a horse of a different color than the whirlwind of CPS casework and inheriting 3 young orphans. And I was even feeling reasonably content with my life after parenthood. . . It wasn't easy to put together and is now shot to ? ? ? Kinda don't wanna use the destination of that cliche in reference to the lives of my grandchildren, but it fits in my own strictly personals. Where did my life go?
Sigh. . .
I think a good soak or as I call it “mock drowning” sounds like a good next step. When I hit overload I resort to “mock drowning” baths to drown out all the pressures & stress that keep building from the lists of things to do, so I can reset and clear my head. It often helps me sort through the “need to do this..., that..., this...,etc,” and at least find a starting point somewhere when there’s too many places to start.
For me, when my list of to do’s get out of my ability to process, my first response is both dissociation and detachment. Especially these past two months. I often need something to break that cycle once it starts.
You’ve has so much on your plate Arfie for so many months now, that it’s understandable that there are areas of neglect. In my opinion, I think how you’ve been facing this is inspiring and a show of amazing strength and perseverance. You’re doing what you can when you can, and that is all any of us can do.
In your immortal words..., ‘grab that starting gun..., get ready..., get set...., sit, human doing.’
Hugs and love!