Spring winds
OK, This week has been a emotional mess for me. My Divorce was final this past Monday and I have been breaking down and the smallest of things. Truly grieving over the finality of 24 years, the death of 24 years, basically a loss of half my life. Me and the wife for the most part have kept the process and details of the divorce a personnel thing. We told out kids and I told my parents but she has not told any of her side of the family and made me promise that I wouldn’t. We did not tell anyone of the court date including one children.
The wife had an apartment leased which she could not get into this weekend and we all understood that. I figured things would remain the same in the house with her being there until we could make the gradual move. Well Monday after the 15 minutes in the Court Room my wife walked out and did not return home. She text’ed me that she could not come back to the house that evening but would not answer or return a call. She had packed a bag before leaving that morning knowing she would not be back home. She said bye to our daughter like any other day knowing that she was not returning the house.
Our youngest daughter (21) still lives in the house and when she could tell that I was abit emotional evening her mom would only answer a text from the daughter. Although the daughter put on the strong face and said O’well, what else could we expect from mom? I knew she was upset. I just did not know until last night.
Last evening the wife text’ed and said she needed to come to the house for some things. And she did. Washed a few clothes and packed a new bag. She also started packing boxes for her move out. When I got there she was abit gruff and I went about the normal evening routine of chores and feeding the animals. And then the daughter got home and she and the wife had a very good visit. Because the daughter got home from class early I was able to talk the wife into staying for supper. I did not know just how devastating it had been to the daughter that my wife had left that way and had refused to have contact. I feel that our daughter felt abandoned by the event, although she did not say it. But seeing and visiting with her mom brought out the emotions that the youngest needed to start dealing with. I also saw and realized last night that even though the wife is also devastated by our divorce and hurting too, she is hurting for different reasons than I am. I feel that she has long moved on from us as a couple and that I have a ways to get to the point where she is, but last night was a kick in the butt to get walking down the road to the new life that awaits me. Shoot the wife already has a week vacation planned to Kentucky at the end of this moth with a group of her girlfriends.
Helping move the wife into her apartment this weekend I think will also help me move on too, I just have to remember to not let the memories flood back or hold them in check. Yep, I know I’m still on a roller costar but I feel (right now) that most of the loop-d-loops might be over!
The wife had an apartment leased which she could not get into this weekend and we all understood that. I figured things would remain the same in the house with her being there until we could make the gradual move. Well Monday after the 15 minutes in the Court Room my wife walked out and did not return home. She text’ed me that she could not come back to the house that evening but would not answer or return a call. She had packed a bag before leaving that morning knowing she would not be back home. She said bye to our daughter like any other day knowing that she was not returning the house.
Our youngest daughter (21) still lives in the house and when she could tell that I was abit emotional evening her mom would only answer a text from the daughter. Although the daughter put on the strong face and said O’well, what else could we expect from mom? I knew she was upset. I just did not know until last night.
Last evening the wife text’ed and said she needed to come to the house for some things. And she did. Washed a few clothes and packed a new bag. She also started packing boxes for her move out. When I got there she was abit gruff and I went about the normal evening routine of chores and feeding the animals. And then the daughter got home and she and the wife had a very good visit. Because the daughter got home from class early I was able to talk the wife into staying for supper. I did not know just how devastating it had been to the daughter that my wife had left that way and had refused to have contact. I feel that our daughter felt abandoned by the event, although she did not say it. But seeing and visiting with her mom brought out the emotions that the youngest needed to start dealing with. I also saw and realized last night that even though the wife is also devastated by our divorce and hurting too, she is hurting for different reasons than I am. I feel that she has long moved on from us as a couple and that I have a ways to get to the point where she is, but last night was a kick in the butt to get walking down the road to the new life that awaits me. Shoot the wife already has a week vacation planned to Kentucky at the end of this moth with a group of her girlfriends.
Helping move the wife into her apartment this weekend I think will also help me move on too, I just have to remember to not let the memories flood back or hold them in check. Yep, I know I’m still on a roller costar but I feel (right now) that most of the loop-d-loops might be over!
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