Spring is so lovely
Not much new to report-but overall I am feeling pretty stable and cheerful.
I'm not ruminating or fortune telling about the fearful future, or taking on too much or doing too little.
I am able to achieve small goals like ringing my elderly friend Ann for a visit next weekend and I am staying on track at work-doing enough but not going crazy and making myself irritable with working too fast.
Ivan and i are getting on well in a sort of gentle teasing and cosy way. We don't feel the need to challenge each other, or make us work too hard. We support each other and keep each other company. It's good.
Arnie is trotting along with his diabetes, seems to be feeling happy and will play with a ball or a dead rat! He squeals when we go to visit Jan and Rob-it's a real thrill for him. We drop in sometimes to see them and always catch up with some news and have a cup of coffee.
I don't really miss a social life-i have here and Bryan on the phone and work and Ivan so I have a few outlets for my wit and wisdom! lol.
I still don't know if I really have bipolar but I certainly have had terrible depression. My hypomanic behaviours have really come out only since I came to Auckland and moved in with Bryan-we used to fight so terribly and my life was going nowhere. I had to come up with ideas to justify myself. Big plans...
If I got hypomanic in the past the first thing I'd do would be to have a drink or ten-so I kind of submerged my symptoms in alcohol.
Depression in the past I only had for a year I was involved in an illegal marriage when the "groom" was making all sorts of threats if I backed out and another year I was being beaten up. Justifiable-but the depressions over the last 7 years were out of proportion to situation esp in last 2 years living with Ivan-which has been really good for my health.
I have a tendency for all or nothing which maybe the meds are containing? I certainly am not feeling suicidal or on top of the world either. But more just right. Maybe just a fraction of the blah zombie?
I have no hobbies or creativity beyond a bit of weeding and reading-but does it matter? not to me I reckon!
I am more than willing to appreciate the work of others though. Being me is my creativity.
And that's OK.
I'm not ruminating or fortune telling about the fearful future, or taking on too much or doing too little.
I am able to achieve small goals like ringing my elderly friend Ann for a visit next weekend and I am staying on track at work-doing enough but not going crazy and making myself irritable with working too fast.
Ivan and i are getting on well in a sort of gentle teasing and cosy way. We don't feel the need to challenge each other, or make us work too hard. We support each other and keep each other company. It's good.
Arnie is trotting along with his diabetes, seems to be feeling happy and will play with a ball or a dead rat! He squeals when we go to visit Jan and Rob-it's a real thrill for him. We drop in sometimes to see them and always catch up with some news and have a cup of coffee.
I don't really miss a social life-i have here and Bryan on the phone and work and Ivan so I have a few outlets for my wit and wisdom! lol.
I still don't know if I really have bipolar but I certainly have had terrible depression. My hypomanic behaviours have really come out only since I came to Auckland and moved in with Bryan-we used to fight so terribly and my life was going nowhere. I had to come up with ideas to justify myself. Big plans...
If I got hypomanic in the past the first thing I'd do would be to have a drink or ten-so I kind of submerged my symptoms in alcohol.
Depression in the past I only had for a year I was involved in an illegal marriage when the "groom" was making all sorts of threats if I backed out and another year I was being beaten up. Justifiable-but the depressions over the last 7 years were out of proportion to situation esp in last 2 years living with Ivan-which has been really good for my health.
I have a tendency for all or nothing which maybe the meds are containing? I certainly am not feeling suicidal or on top of the world either. But more just right. Maybe just a fraction of the blah zombie?
I have no hobbies or creativity beyond a bit of weeding and reading-but does it matter? not to me I reckon!
I am more than willing to appreciate the work of others though. Being me is my creativity.
And that's OK.
Replies