Spooky the Cat

I sure hope this is not the beginning of a very bad new year for me. A year and a half ago we took in my daughter's boyfriend's mother's cat. She was going to have it put down at a shelter and we thought that was terrible so we kept the cat. The past week or so he didn't eat very much so my husband took him to the vet and she  told us he had cancer and the humane thing to do for him is to put him down. With all my health issues my husband basically took care of that cat because I have two of my own. I was not that attached to Spooky because we had him only a short time. Today though I'm feeling bad. I feel bad for Spooky for being that unwanted cat that someone did not want and would of put it down. Maybe it's my depression again that is getting the best of me. I hate the thought of going back to the kidney doctor on Friday and him telling me when the new surgery should be because I know I'm totally not physically ready for another surgery. I normally don't write in my journal but I thought writing these things down would make me feel just alittle better. Plus I needed just to say goodbye to Spooky  and how sorry I am I didn't get to know him that much because of my health issues. I'm sitting here crying and wondering what is coming next.