Spoke too soon..

I thought I was ok...but I'm notI thought I was over it....but I'm not For every encouraging word I've said about being "over it"...I'm not. I'm sad that the one person who I loved the most in my life is not able to be in my life.  I've never loved anyone as much as I love him and letting go is harder than I thought. I am doing it though.  But the pain is almost unbearable today.   I am trying to be strong and work through it...but it hurts.  It hurts so much that I am almost numb. Its so sad that two people who love each other just can't be together no matter what - they just can't make it work.  It will never work  - that's the reality.  How do you let go once and for all? How do you finally just "never go back".?   I hate that I have to go through this.  I wouldnt wish it upon my worst enemy.  If its true what I've been told - that whenever you hurt yourself or whenever you feel pain - you are paying for your sins.  Well, I believe that I have paid for every sin I have ever committed over the past few years.  This pain is unbearable in my heart.  But you know what?  I will get over it one day. God help me through...please.  I need it today. Jen