Spoke on Step 7 last night
It is always great to be asked to do service and the more I have done it, the more it has changed my attitude and outlook.
The one thing I had to say about step 7 "Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings" is what an old sponsor said to me .. "God can move mountains. but you have to bring the shovel!"
This business of life is messy. We get upset, we get anxious and stressed, we do not always react well. I can make a big deal out of the smallest thing if I feel my pride is being hurt. And that is just a human failing. It is not specifically alcoholic. But, because I am an alcoholic, I don't do well when I sit in anger, fear, jealousy, hatred or any of those negative emotions that I have used to beat myself with. I have used these feelings and emotions as a justification to drink in the past -- and to take a drink is not an option today.
Also, I always had this idea that I would find perfect happiness somewhere. I looked for it in the bottle. I looked for it in religion. I looked for it in relationships, work, hobbies, money .. I have looked all over. There is one lesson, central to Buddhist thinking, that is so important for me to remember -- There is not permanent happiness in impermanent things and everything is impermanent!
In AA I have learned a LOT about acceptance. I accepted that I am an alcoholic. I have accepted that I can not get sober and stay sober without help. I have accepted that I need to do the footwork, to take responsibility for my alcoholism, or I will not continue to stay sober.
And, still, one of the hardest things to change is pride!
The only thing I have done that has helped me, is to go and help another person. Whatever my motivation, whatever the situation, if I make an earnest attempt to be helpful, to be of service, in that moment, I do not have to be a lave to my own ego.
It's the best advice I have ever gotten and it is the hardest to follow.
But, one day at a time!
:-)
The one thing I had to say about step 7 "Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings" is what an old sponsor said to me .. "God can move mountains. but you have to bring the shovel!"
This business of life is messy. We get upset, we get anxious and stressed, we do not always react well. I can make a big deal out of the smallest thing if I feel my pride is being hurt. And that is just a human failing. It is not specifically alcoholic. But, because I am an alcoholic, I don't do well when I sit in anger, fear, jealousy, hatred or any of those negative emotions that I have used to beat myself with. I have used these feelings and emotions as a justification to drink in the past -- and to take a drink is not an option today.
Also, I always had this idea that I would find perfect happiness somewhere. I looked for it in the bottle. I looked for it in religion. I looked for it in relationships, work, hobbies, money .. I have looked all over. There is one lesson, central to Buddhist thinking, that is so important for me to remember -- There is not permanent happiness in impermanent things and everything is impermanent!
In AA I have learned a LOT about acceptance. I accepted that I am an alcoholic. I have accepted that I can not get sober and stay sober without help. I have accepted that I need to do the footwork, to take responsibility for my alcoholism, or I will not continue to stay sober.
And, still, one of the hardest things to change is pride!
The only thing I have done that has helped me, is to go and help another person. Whatever my motivation, whatever the situation, if I make an earnest attempt to be helpful, to be of service, in that moment, I do not have to be a lave to my own ego.
It's the best advice I have ever gotten and it is the hardest to follow.
But, one day at a time!
:-)
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