Spiraling Downwards
Wednesday, June 4, 2008 -- 10:50 AM This week is not going very well. That happens now and then. It is when I feel as if I am spiraling downwards and out of control. The future looks bleak during this time. The length of my depression often determines how long I will feel this way. There are times when nothing seems to be going right for me. This is one of those times. When that happens, I become moody, and whatever positive thinking I had been doing usually disappears entirely. I see little, if any, good things in my life, and cannot see much hope for a better future. This week is filled to the brim with medical problems and paperwork that has to be done for the state. The paperwork has been completed, and all that remains is for it to be addressed and mailed. Getting a refill on some of my medication is another matter entirely. I am not exactly sure what is happening, but there seems to be a lack of communication between my pharmacy and my doctor. I have an appointment to see my doctor next Tuesday, so if nothing has been accomplished by then I will talk the situation over with him. Even though my wheelchair seat was worked on earlier this week, I feel an increase in the amount of pain in my back. The pain medication that I usually use does not seem to be helping to ease this. If it gets much worse, I will be screaming so much that I will be heard throughout the entire United States. Earlier this week, I made a promise to myself that I would try to stay away from DS a little more than usual. I feel that I have become so engrossed in it that I have started neglecting other things in my life. It is almost as though I have become addicted to it. Quotes for Success: “Whatever task you undertake, do it with all your heart and soul. Always be courteous, never be discouraged. Beware of him who promises something for nothing. Do not blame anybody for your mistakes and failures. Do not look for approval except the consciousness of doing your best.” Bernard Mannes Baruch
Replies
K, today\'s quote bugs me. For the first time, I don\'t like your quote. It just seems not appropriate for you at this time. Maybe for your doctor or your pharmacist though!
I want to give you a quote today:
\"Change means movement. Movement means friction.\"
Saul Alinsky
Oh, and be addicted to it for now if it\'s helping. You\'ve suffered long enough, Jim. I think being addicted to DS is much healthier than being addicted to expensive and illegal drugs. I\'d say it\'s a step in the right direction and something you should be proud of.
Unless you are neglecting to eat, of course. Then you an just ignore my advice.
Your friend,
Sam
After reading the quote in my entry again, I can see where you might not like it. That does not seem to help my situation, does it? Thank you for the quote you left. It is much more positive than mine.
Yes, DS is helping me, but I have gotten to the point where I neglect some important things that I need to take care of in my life. There is no doubt the DS is much healthier than the illegal drugs I used to use.
I never neglect to eat! That may be something I need to work on as well. LOL
Jim
As long as you get things done eventually, it\'s okay. You are under tremendous stress both emotionally and physically. It\'s very important to make sure you find things that support you at this time. Eating is very good. I think I\'ve put on at least 20lbs since I\'ve begun to lift the sticky burden.
I know how it is to leave stuff because you are so drained or simply not motivated or even in physical pain. I let things get away a bit on me at times and then would beat myself up over that. Try, if you can, to not beat yourself up if you find enjoyment. It might not be addiction - it just might be exactly what it is. Good in your life.
Hey jim, I love the qoute for the day, esp the part about not looking for approval, I am sorry you are having a bad week, I hope you feel better soon, you will, !!!!!
hugs-Stephanie
I have nothing original to add except Weeble Hugs and Mojo!