Spending any amount of time with friends, PRICELESS. Spending any amount of time with people yo

I had an extrememly upsetting night.  My husband and I went to go visit his best friend of 37 yrs who had a baby second week of December.  Let me preface this by saying that him and his  'best friend' go way back and talk to each other once a week.  When his mother was diagnosed with lung cancer last year at this time, we went to go see her in hospice and when she died, we sent over a bunch of food and went to the wake, etc.  My husband was very close to his friend and his family so that he took the loss of his best friend's mother very hard.  When we bought our house last July, my husband called his friend and said, 'hey, we close on x day and the big move is on y day'.  My husband was expecting for his friend to agree to help us move since he had previously helped him move twice before and it's just what friends do.  Well, his buddy said, 'ok -- i'll let you know and we'll see''.  My husband was shocked so he didn't call him again.   The day came for the big move and his true friends showed up.  After the weekend, his buddy called him and said, hey, weren't we supposed to move this past weekend?  My husband replied and told him that he asked him but since he blew my husband off, he wasn't going to call him again.  Besides, when my husband asked others to help, their response to him was:  no problem.  what time would you like for us to be there?  Not, we'll see and I'll let you know.  Okay, so my husband and I try not to hold grudges.  We move in, get settled.  We're now planning our Housewarming party.  Husband calls his buddy to invite him and his GF.  His buddy tells him that they're already have plans.  Apparently, his nephew has his first football game and then after the game, they are all going back to the house for a bbq.  I can understand they had a prior commitment with family but he could have at the very least, stopped by afterwards.  My husband's upset that his 'best friend' is two for two.  At this point, he has not asked about our new house nor mentioned anything about making plans to come over a different day.  Okay, no biggie.  People are busy.  We just can't figure it out.  The one thing that comes to my mind is the fact that I had defriended his mother, himself, and his sister the previous six months because of some comments that were made on facebook.   I'm a huge facebook junkie but my husband isn't.  When the FB incident occurred, I felt that my husband didn't support me and took his friend's side.  But I thought that after we had gone to see his dying mother, that that had passed and we were all good.  Or so I thought.  So my husband is a billiards enthusiast, has been since he was a teenager and his dream was to own a home, with a basement (mancave) so he could ultimately have his own pool table.  Last September, we went shopping everywhere for a pool table.  Shopping with me is not the same as shopping with another man who enjoys shooting pool.  I get it.  So, we're in the car driving back home and talking about a bunch of stuff. His buddy comes up.  I suggested that he call him and see what's up.   Mind you, we are always trying to meet up with them either where they live (about 45 min from us) or halfway.  It's always one excuse after the other why they cannot.  So again, I suggest to him to ask his friend for dinner and make it an open invitation.  Let him discuss it with his GF so agree on a date and let us know.  The response was the usual, 'I'll let you know."  UGH.  All this time, they are talking with one another weekly.  Few months pass and we're in the month of December.  My husband calls him at work and he does not return his call but instead, texts him and tells him that he is busy and will call him in a few days.  Odd.  Unlike him.  So, it's Christmas day and my husand being the loyal friend that he is, calls his best friend to wish him and his GF a Merry Christmas.  Well, he calls back and says to him,'I have something to tell you.  Are you sitting down?'.  He proceeds to tell my husband that he has a son that was born on Dec 9th and just came home the day before because he was in NICU due to complications.  My husband was shocked, to say the least.  So my husband tells him, 'well dude, now you gotta do the right thing.  you gotta marry her'.  His buddy tells him that they already got married, six months prior in June at city hall by a judge that he knew.  My husband asked why he didn't tell him all this sooner.  His reply was, we only wanted family to know.  OH MY GOD.  WTF???   My husband was very hurt.  I was very hurt for my  husband's sake and selfishly for my own sake.  Needless to say, I had a very crappy Christmas day and could not stop crying all day.  His best friend said he didn't tell my husband that he was getting married because he thought my husband would have asked why.  We wouldn't have asked why.  They've only been together for 10 yrs.  And his wife is the biggest BITCH on the face of this earth.  She has always treated him like crap.  For a month after we got the news, we were trying to digest it.  Mind you, they've known about our infertility issues this entire time.  My guess is they didn't want to say anything to upset us but after visiting them last night and having to sit through the gruelling details of their conception and her entire nine months of pregnancy details, there were other reasons why they withheld their news.  My gut feeling is that he was embarrassed and ashamed to tell his best friend that he got his GF pregnant and had to marry that piece of shit.  Of course, they used no protection the entire time they were each other so why are you surprised that she is pregnant?  Oh and then during last night's glorious visit, my husband asks if they are going to have a wedding reception.  Guess what??  They already had one.  It was just with the family.  I was sitting there thinking to myself, what in the fuck are we doing here???  What a waste of a fucking evening.  I encouraged my husband to forgive him because that was the right thing to do.  My friend got wind of the visit and said to me:  wow, you have a lot of courage to go visit them.  I said:  well, we can't hold a grudge.  they've been friends forever.  If it was up to me, I would've told them off but it's his friend and he can deal with it his own way.  As the night progressed, she mentioned something about her shower.  So i said:  what shower?  they all looked at each other and said, uh, we had a baby shower.  hmmmm....only wanted to keep it with the family, huh?  RIGHT.  yeah, i see how you value our friendship. throughout the night, i can tell my husband was having a good time catching up with his buddy.  i didn't want to ruin it for him but calling it a night.  Every now and then, I would excuse myself and go to the bathroom and text my niece to vent.  Finally, my husband turns to me and says it's time to go home cuz it's getting late and we have an hour drive home.  Earlier, my husband suggests to his buddy that they should a poker night like they used to have.  I always encourage my husband to spend time with his friends; I have never held him back and said no.  The only activity that I don't prefer is them going to a strip club.  Sorry, I draw the line there.  His buddy's wife says to my husband:  he can't go out; he's got a baby now.  Really?  what was his excuse before?  Does he not have the balls or the spine to speak for himself?  That's right, he doesn't.  His balls are in your purse and his spine disappeared 10 yrs ago.  When we got in the car to go home, my husband thanked me for sucking it up because he knew that it was hard for me.  Buddy, you have no idea how fucking hard that was for me.  I chewed his ass out the entire way home.  I told him that the next time we visit California and I want to meet up with my best friends and their families, I do not want to hear any shit from him that he doesn't want to go.  Absolutely nothing. 
To top it off, I am currently on a diet and have lost about 15 lbs.  I've been really trying to stick with the program and I was doing really well.  Last night while they were all having pizza, i ate a small garden salad and when the cookies came out, i enjoyed coffee instead.  when the hunger pains started, i stuck a piece of gum in my mouth.  but when i couldn't take it anymore emotionally, i broke down and had two cookies and a couple of chocolates that i had brought.  and when i got home, i ate pizza, a mini sandwich, and a couple of italian sausages.  for the moment, it was a release because only food could comfort me at that point.  i went to bed mad, upset, and hurt.  and i woke up the same way.  my chest and shoulders hurt and i can feel AF coming.  joy, joy, joy. 
I am still upset and the worst part?  My husband does not fucking get it.  I feel like I get no support whatsoever.  I am so tempted to write a letter to his friend and his wife and express our disappointment with them but honestly, they are not going to give a hoot because all they care about is themselves.  You would think by all the comments that came out of her mouth last night that she is the only woman on the face of this earth to have a baby.  I told my husband do not keep inviting them over.  It is obvious they do not want to spend time with us.   I am so done with them.