Spatscity (sp?), Spirituality
I have had a real hard time with muscle stiffness lately, due to the MS. I could barely get out of bed this morning...and nothing to do with fatigue as much as my legs and lower back WOULD NOT allow me to get up without completely cramping on me.
Imagine having a charlie horse throughout your entire body that's what it was like.
So I awoke very upset, none the less. With very little optimism, to boot.
It had weighed heavily on my mind all day, without me even noticing, but it was THERE.
So, here I was, filled with so much anger and resentment towards myself for being "Weak" that I had to take it out on everybody and how miserable I was...am. Was? I still question it. I don't want to jinx anything.
Any who, later on in the day I went about cleansing and charging my stones, including the new Garnet and the new Selenite I had found..I found it very relieving and I felt that spark again deep inside, that same spark I felt when I was very deep into my practice (Yes, I am Pagan..and no, I won't kill your goats..). I felt the utmost amazing feeling of love, unconditionally from (Wherever)...up, down, over there, within. I felt so within their touch.
When it became dark, I decided to FINALLY do my small little ritual dedicated to Hecate, which I meant to do last night, as the 13th is sacred to her and on top of it, A NEW MOON. There's a lot of power there. Power for new beginnings, and to do away with the old, useless crap we don't need.
My 4 year old son watched as I did the ritual which was very quaint and must have been very exciting for him as he also got into it :) Randomly, without even being told about the older ways, he began dancing (I found this veryyy ironic)! All in all, as much as he tested my patience and broke my concentration, I was happy to see him pick up such an interest. I put the candles out, thanked the guardians/deity and I felt so RELIEVED. Yes, again. It was like a breath of fresh air.
And Yeah, I am fully charged at this point, getting tired now, which...I accept lol..as I have to get up possibly quite early. I felt so much energy within me though, energy I haven't felt in years. I FELT ALIVE.
Case in point, slowly getting back into my spirituality is HELPING me and I am NOTICING that. Unlike before, years ago, I took it forgranted and and abandoned ship, feeling nothing. And I stayed like that. Miserable. If only I could make this a goal; to meditate daily, even in for 4-5 minutes, work in rituals on a regular basis. I wouldn't do that to myself though, the the word GOAL is daunting and I'd scare myself off.
Anyways, that's it for me tonight. Hope everyone is feeling well and staying safe. My thoughts are with you all :)
Imagine having a charlie horse throughout your entire body that's what it was like.
So I awoke very upset, none the less. With very little optimism, to boot.
It had weighed heavily on my mind all day, without me even noticing, but it was THERE.
So, here I was, filled with so much anger and resentment towards myself for being "Weak" that I had to take it out on everybody and how miserable I was...am. Was? I still question it. I don't want to jinx anything.
Any who, later on in the day I went about cleansing and charging my stones, including the new Garnet and the new Selenite I had found..I found it very relieving and I felt that spark again deep inside, that same spark I felt when I was very deep into my practice (Yes, I am Pagan..and no, I won't kill your goats..). I felt the utmost amazing feeling of love, unconditionally from (Wherever)...up, down, over there, within. I felt so within their touch.
When it became dark, I decided to FINALLY do my small little ritual dedicated to Hecate, which I meant to do last night, as the 13th is sacred to her and on top of it, A NEW MOON. There's a lot of power there. Power for new beginnings, and to do away with the old, useless crap we don't need.
My 4 year old son watched as I did the ritual which was very quaint and must have been very exciting for him as he also got into it :) Randomly, without even being told about the older ways, he began dancing (I found this veryyy ironic)! All in all, as much as he tested my patience and broke my concentration, I was happy to see him pick up such an interest. I put the candles out, thanked the guardians/deity and I felt so RELIEVED. Yes, again. It was like a breath of fresh air.
And Yeah, I am fully charged at this point, getting tired now, which...I accept lol..as I have to get up possibly quite early. I felt so much energy within me though, energy I haven't felt in years. I FELT ALIVE.
Case in point, slowly getting back into my spirituality is HELPING me and I am NOTICING that. Unlike before, years ago, I took it forgranted and and abandoned ship, feeling nothing. And I stayed like that. Miserable. If only I could make this a goal; to meditate daily, even in for 4-5 minutes, work in rituals on a regular basis. I wouldn't do that to myself though, the the word GOAL is daunting and I'd scare myself off.
Anyways, that's it for me tonight. Hope everyone is feeling well and staying safe. My thoughts are with you all :)
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