Space

I've told my bf I need space if this relat is going to work.  I am grateful for my diaries because in reading back I realize how long this has been going on, how persistent he is.  I may need to go back into the physical and emotional abuse room, this has gotten really hairy, I've finally blown up and demanded he not call/show up/text or send flowers.  That was a few days ago, when he called once I told him to Leave Me Alone in no uncertain terms. So why do I want to call and give it another try?  Patterns of starting out in relat too much too soon, too fast, then as I speak up to get my needs met, and space is a great requirement to try to process what's going on, well I am met w/ much resistance and much discounting of my needs and thoughts.
I used my little rock water fountain in my room last night and a candle and just watched the water flow and just tried to soothe myself.  I  realize God is all around me giving me for ways to be soothed from the pain I feel I have to be open to all those ways.
I'm grateful for women friends in program I've been able to get validation for all this, Mom isn't too supportive in fact.
Meditating at least 5 mins a day, and starting day of yoga outdoors on  the towel on the grass amongst the birds and trees and flowers and sky is good.  I do walk every day.
At least I'm realizing this "possessiveness" in him 5 1/2 months into the relationship instead of letting it go on and on.  He doesn't see anything wrong with it.  My ex I had when I joined this group a few years ago is recently "stalking" me again, as well,just trying to contact me, hates me.  Thank God for Al Anon.  I don't have to react.