Sore and Tired

Well it's been an up and down week. I've struggled with pain a lot, mostly with the kind that just resonates through my whole body and makes me feel useless.  Lying down may help temporarily, but I get up with my new pains.  This morning I hurt all throughout my body.  It was awful.  I got my Rx pain pills refilled and took 2 late this afternoon. It's kind of masking the ache, but not really.
Mentally I am not really any better.  I've been having horrible nightmares.  I've been eating junk food.  I'm going to the doc on Monday and I've probably not lost any weight.  I have not made the conscious effort that I should have.  The depression is stronger than my willpower to cook, clean, and eat right.  I pray to find relief soon so I can get my act together.  It is a wretched feeling to be so down.  Mentally and physically feeling like shit is not a good place to be.
My family is doing okay. I'm going to have to find new therapists for my son and that's another chore I'm not looking forward to at all.  It's so hard to find someone.  Sigh.
And if someone suggests to me that I do in home therapy I will say no thanks. He needs a clinic without the distraction of home.  I know the state wants to be cheap and all, but it's helpful for him and me for him to GO to therapy instead of the therapist coming to us.  It hasn't always been that way, especially when he was a lot younger, but it is that way now.
I'm tired and can't concentrate.  I miss writing.  I miss my ancestry work.  I miss reading.  I miss doing creative things.  I feel zapped.  Will I ever get back there again?  Even in my darkest times before I've been able to write.
dea