Soon.... The decision

The time is near. I must decided. Whether it's good to live. Or better to die...
I'm tired. Exhausted in every way.tired of breathing. Breathing tells me I'm alive, it's agonizing. I want to stop breathing. At times I hold my breathe to stop. But I can't hold my breath forever. I want to feel dead. Cause only then will the pain stop. I want peace. I want freedom. Not life, life can't offer thoughs things. Only pain, suffering. Soon. Very soon. I must decide.