Somewhere I read

That society does not give us much time to grieve.  In my case the lawsuit my husbands two sons put against me within 2 months held me up.  It was anger and despair.  Once I began to truly go through the ways of grief I had to move on taking care of events in every day life.  Fencing, water lines, electrical issues, and as the years gone by I felt ok I am making steps ok.  Now 4 almost 5 years later my grief is the struggles with experiences of home ownership and making it financially and all on my own.  Which leads to the all alone part while I truly am ok its still alone.  And where I live in this rural area it will be the same but that part is ok as I am safe here compared to where moving would bring me.  And the big question is where do I go anyway.  I wished I did not have questions of what and where I am going to do with the next possible years of my life.