sometimes it's just plain hard
I've been doing very well despite T's and J's situation. J appears to be doing very well but I know he isn't - as long as I know he's drinking. He tells me he's doing fine and is now only drinking on weekends. He's the one that came to us - telling us he had a problem, after all, since we didn't have a clue.
T walked in this early evening (obviously stoned) to put on his bathing suit to go to the beach with friends. I know that one of his friends' mom, that he was with today, has been trying to get her 17 year old son into inpatient treatment. And the other friends that were going with him to the beach? Two girls - one a 23 years old, and the other girl, 17. I don't understand why the 23 year old would "chill" with these kids. T used to date her younger sister when he was at his worst. I really liked that girl and couldn't understand why she would want to be with our son, considering his "state". Her older sister, that T and his friends have been spending time with is a college graduate with a teaching degree. She sometimes comes to the house and picks him up. I was told by another mom that she is an okay kid. I'm sure she is but why? Why is a 23 year old girl hanging out with a much younger group that uses? Maybe she is........... but is good, like our middle son, at hiding it.
T walked in this early evening (obviously stoned) to put on his bathing suit to go to the beach with friends. I know that one of his friends' mom, that he was with today, has been trying to get her 17 year old son into inpatient treatment. And the other friends that were going with him to the beach? Two girls - one a 23 years old, and the other girl, 17. I don't understand why the 23 year old would "chill" with these kids. T used to date her younger sister when he was at his worst. I really liked that girl and couldn't understand why she would want to be with our son, considering his "state". Her older sister, that T and his friends have been spending time with is a college graduate with a teaching degree. She sometimes comes to the house and picks him up. I was told by another mom that she is an okay kid. I'm sure she is but why? Why is a 23 year old girl hanging out with a much younger group that uses? Maybe she is........... but is good, like our middle son, at hiding it.
Replies
Thanks for your comment on my journal. I think how \'getting better\" looks for each of us is a unique thing. For me, AlAnon helps me keep the principles of recovery in focus, but the particulars i need to work on are unique to my life, and I\'m sure it\'s the same for you.
I do have a friend in AlAnon i talk with every week who has had remarkably similar issues, even down to the age of our sons who are the addicts. We are trying to discover together how to move forward in our lives, putting more to focus on which is about ourselves. moving from child-oriented back to our own lives, and we are each finding it quite a challenge. Neither feels there is much of ourselves there any more, and need to discover what it is we like and want in our lives.
one comment on your entry above: kids tend to congregate around drug use who otherwise don\'t look like they would fit together. (Learned that courtesy of being a drug counselor; in fact, it\'s a known red flag).... Especially if they all like one type of drug, i.e., stimulants. Or there are other scenarios--the older one could be a codependent, for instance. just a thot.