Sometimes I wonder...

There are some days I really wonder if im meant to be alone. I mean, how is someone else supposed to handle all of this craziness? My emotions, my trust issues, my past. I know we all have a past but there are some people that the past never effects their relationships now, that's not the case for me. I've been threw an extremely abusive relationship, one where they lied, manipulated, stole, held me hostage, and tried to kill me. All of, of almost all of my past relationships have been unhealthy. They've lied and cheated. So I have major trust issues. Issues that I'm trying to work past and work on but its hard. For a few reasons, one I can't find a faithful person, I don't know if I'm meant to be with someone, and when or if I do find that person, they're gunna have to work WITH me to help me work threw this. Not having someone that's willing to help work threw it doesn't help me any, I'm trying but I need help too. I'm taking steps to get past all of this on my own with medication therapy etc, but having a partner or even close friends that would help threw it on a deeper level is what I'm missing. I just hope I can find someone that can accept me for me and all my craziness and emotional mess. Living with borderline personality disorder and anxiety isn't the easiest thing on the planet. Anyways, enough of my little venting here. :) Love you all, hope yall have a blessed night and rest of the week!