Sometimes I really don't want to be alive!!!

I am beginning to hate myself. I do not think anyone likes me (bi polar day?) and I feel like everything is my  fault. I can't be around my family, i can't live with my boyfriend, and I don't have any friends to speak of except some people who talk to me on here. I feel like an outcast of society. I hate being me. If I did not have to take care of my son I would walk away from this life right now. I feel stuck (i know it sounds terrible) but i do feel stuck because i had him. If he weren't here I would have no reason to keep going. I know God has me in my situation for some reason but I do not know why.