Sometimes I just want to run away part 2
When that all happened they pretty much went off every word that came out of his mouth and never listened to me or Holly. I told them that If he couldn't simple rules at my home like keep his room clean or not to hit me that he wasn't allowed at my home.
For a couple of months he didn't come to our house. Me and his mother would spend time with him but we take him back to his grand mothers in the evening. I made his grandmother tell him that he had to listen to me and his mother before he came back to the house. She wouldn't do it at first and I am not going to let the child have rule over my home and me having to clean up after him. We finally reached an agreement that he would listen to me and clean up after himself. His grand mother told him to listen to me and I thought things would improve with that but no thing got worse because my wife got pregnant which the doctors said was impossible. She became very ill and I thought I was going to lose her and my child. I had a beautiful baby boy that was premature. He spent the first 3 months of his life in the hospital. The pregnancy was rough on my wife and she spent most of the pregnancy in the hospital and pretty much the whole 3 months the baby was in the hospital she was there in a different part. I had my father to care for, I had my wife, I had my child that I didnt miss a day seeing, and I had a teenage boy at my house making a mess and refusing to clean up after his self.
I was upset when his grand parents wouldn't help out with anything. Their daughter was sick and dying and they couldn't even watch their grandson when I needed help with taking care of the rest of my family. When his brother and mother was at the hospital he didn't want to go up there so he would stay at home while I was up there and I would spend the majority of the day at the hospital. He only came over on the weekends during this time because his grand parents would get out for the weekend even though their daughter was in the hospital and I was asking for help. They would leave and go gambling.
Well I got home 1 day and my house was a mess, he was in his room playing so I told him that he had to clean his room. he didnt at first so I repeated in taking the chords away from his games. He started yelling at me and he went outside fussing. I thought he was just trying to cool off but he had called the cops because I wanted him to clean his room. I called his grand parents and they picked him up. The cops treated me like I was the 1 that ram sacked my home when I spent most of my time at the hospital. I had to come home and clean up after him and when I asked him to clean his room I was the 1 that was out of line. keep in mind that I cleaning up after him throughout the rest of the house cooking his meals, taking care of my father, his mother, my son, and him. I am the bad guy because he needed to clean his room.
That was the last time that I allowed him into my home. With that they had enough reason to take me and Holly's child away from us Holly died about 4 months after we lost our son. this was how he was raised. He spent most of his life at his grandmothers. That is where he molested his cousin. That is when I found out He had been molesting his cousin for years. Thank god Holly never knew about it.
I just recently found out that he had molested 3 of the 4 children that my wife's cousin has.
He is in a troubled youth facility and is getting out soon but will be going right back in because he will be charged with molesting the other children. I think he might be tried as an adult because he is 17 and it's more than 1 charge.
They assure me that I had nothing to do with it but I just want to know what you think. The only people that blame me are the ones that let it happen in their home and I think Holly's sister is unsure. She is the 1 that has my son and the last time I was visiting my son her daughter was home and she wasn't allowed to be in the same room as me and Keegan like I had something to do with how the boy turned out. Just thinking about me possibly having something to do with it makes me sick. I faked a head ache and I ran out of there. I had a mild break down and I cut time with my son short because of it. I need to know that I didn't have anything to do with the way he turned out
For a couple of months he didn't come to our house. Me and his mother would spend time with him but we take him back to his grand mothers in the evening. I made his grandmother tell him that he had to listen to me and his mother before he came back to the house. She wouldn't do it at first and I am not going to let the child have rule over my home and me having to clean up after him. We finally reached an agreement that he would listen to me and clean up after himself. His grand mother told him to listen to me and I thought things would improve with that but no thing got worse because my wife got pregnant which the doctors said was impossible. She became very ill and I thought I was going to lose her and my child. I had a beautiful baby boy that was premature. He spent the first 3 months of his life in the hospital. The pregnancy was rough on my wife and she spent most of the pregnancy in the hospital and pretty much the whole 3 months the baby was in the hospital she was there in a different part. I had my father to care for, I had my wife, I had my child that I didnt miss a day seeing, and I had a teenage boy at my house making a mess and refusing to clean up after his self.
I was upset when his grand parents wouldn't help out with anything. Their daughter was sick and dying and they couldn't even watch their grandson when I needed help with taking care of the rest of my family. When his brother and mother was at the hospital he didn't want to go up there so he would stay at home while I was up there and I would spend the majority of the day at the hospital. He only came over on the weekends during this time because his grand parents would get out for the weekend even though their daughter was in the hospital and I was asking for help. They would leave and go gambling.
Well I got home 1 day and my house was a mess, he was in his room playing so I told him that he had to clean his room. he didnt at first so I repeated in taking the chords away from his games. He started yelling at me and he went outside fussing. I thought he was just trying to cool off but he had called the cops because I wanted him to clean his room. I called his grand parents and they picked him up. The cops treated me like I was the 1 that ram sacked my home when I spent most of my time at the hospital. I had to come home and clean up after him and when I asked him to clean his room I was the 1 that was out of line. keep in mind that I cleaning up after him throughout the rest of the house cooking his meals, taking care of my father, his mother, my son, and him. I am the bad guy because he needed to clean his room.
That was the last time that I allowed him into my home. With that they had enough reason to take me and Holly's child away from us Holly died about 4 months after we lost our son. this was how he was raised. He spent most of his life at his grandmothers. That is where he molested his cousin. That is when I found out He had been molesting his cousin for years. Thank god Holly never knew about it.
I just recently found out that he had molested 3 of the 4 children that my wife's cousin has.
He is in a troubled youth facility and is getting out soon but will be going right back in because he will be charged with molesting the other children. I think he might be tried as an adult because he is 17 and it's more than 1 charge.
They assure me that I had nothing to do with it but I just want to know what you think. The only people that blame me are the ones that let it happen in their home and I think Holly's sister is unsure. She is the 1 that has my son and the last time I was visiting my son her daughter was home and she wasn't allowed to be in the same room as me and Keegan like I had something to do with how the boy turned out. Just thinking about me possibly having something to do with it makes me sick. I faked a head ache and I ran out of there. I had a mild break down and I cut time with my son short because of it. I need to know that I didn't have anything to do with the way he turned out
Replies
I did seek professional help for this. She told me that I had nothing to do with the way he turned out.
It doesn\'t seem at all like it\'s your fault. It sounds like he\'s always been a bit troubled. I\'m here to give you all the reassurance you need. I really believe letting the situation go would help. If you act guilty then people might mistake you for having done something wrong. But you have a good alibi. And ultimately your stepson is getting charged so that\'s that and justice was served. But just know you aren\'t responsible for his damage. To do something has horrid as molest that takes a certain mind and since you said it makes you sick to be even affiliated with that then you know you\'re in the clear. There\'s nothing wrong with parenting your teenager.
thank you
Okay, I hate to say it, but the molesting of the cousin MUST be dealt with accordingly!!!! Involve the parents, CPS, law, whatever! BECAUSE....\"IF\" this is not addressed, it will escalate into MORE severe infractions with more harsh penalties! Also, ensure this cousin gets counseling, as they have an indelible impression in their mind and life now. I am rooting for you man! And again, this is NOT your fault in ANY way, shape, form, or fashion!
Not your fault at all. It seems something was wrong from the beginning. So sorry you are dealing with this! Hugs
Drew, you have nothing to do with this sick boy.Did I say sick? Yes, because he is. Just because God tells us to forgive, doesn\'t mean he says to accept vile behavior and to hurt others. The step son of yours needs a lot of counseling, and he does deserve to be locked up. It has been proven time and time again that most pedophiles do not change!! You are not to blame at all for what this kids done to others. Maybe my story will help you to have a little bit of faith in yourself and know it is in no way your fault. My last husband seemed to be exceptionally good to my grand kids, especially the older one Ashley. She lived with us for about 3 years because her parents worked strange hours and I was home on disability. He did everything for her. He bought her an MGB that he was fixing up for when she turned 16, she was 13 at the time. At eleven we would all go camping and he would teach her how to scuba dive. He even bought her all the equipment she needed to catch her own abalone. None of the family thought much about it until one day Ashley called me and said she would only talk to me about something that was going on. I took her down to the SVU unit (Special Victims Unit) and she poured her heart out that my husband, her step grandfather, was abusing
her sexually. This had been going on since I believe she was 11, not long after she moved in with us. Some weekends I wouldn\'t be able to go camping because it was a 4 hour drive. That is when it started. He was also showing her porn on his computer in his office while I was at the store. When I found out what he was doing, I plotted a plan to pay for a ticket to North Carolina so he could go see his son and grand kids. I made the ticket for 10 days. I had my house packed up and moved into a storage room faster then you can wink. He had no idea. I left him half of what we had, I left half of what we had in the bank, and I took what I knew I couldn\'t ever replace due to my disabilities. The whole family was outraged and also felt guilty because we never saw it coming. When he found out what I knew he said to me \"I have done nothing wrong\" I could have back slapped him with all I had if he had been standing in front of me. It turned out that the episodes that could have put him away were done during camping which was in a different county, and so was the incident in Lake Tahoe, another long story, also in another county. He took everything he could and split for his sons house. I wrote a 5 page letter to his son detailing everything that happened and told him to watch out with his 7 year old daughter.
There is so much more but I just wanted you to see that even though the guilt stuck with me for many years, I know in my heart that it wasn\'t my fault. Men who are pedophiles have so many ways to hide it, to make the victim too afraid to speak, and we get the left overs of the horrible abuse. You have done nothing wrong honey, and Karma will come back to him. It did to my ex husband in a big way. Lots of Love and Hugs GB
No, this is not your fault. If the stepson was sexually abused (likely) then it would be that person\'s fault.