Sometimes I imagine...

Sometimes I imagine you near...watching me...checking on me. You were always so protective of us. I told you that I never really watched my back when you were around...I never worried about anything. You were my protector. I try not to be sad when I think of you being near me. I know you wouldn't want that. 
Sometimes I imagine you coming up from behind me to hug and kiss me when I'm cooking...like you always did. I always teased you about that ...you always wanted to kiss me when I was cooking something good for you. When you cooked for me, you always gave me a taste test...I miss that.
i keep things around to remind me of you...Just for men..lol, your toothbrush...your books..
you always told me that you wanted to go before me...said it would be too hard for your without you.  if I left first. I didn't think you'd go so soon. You were only 52. We were married for just 9 years. You told me that you'd never leave me. our baby is just 3! 
Im hurting so badly without you. I cry every night...why are nights so hard? Probably because you were always here. My heart hurts.     The Lord God is my strength...without Him I am nothing.  God, please give me the strength to go on. Surely, you have a purpose for me.