Something to Look Forward to - not!
Saturday, April 11, 2009 - 12:10 PM It seems as though I have been spending the better part of the last couple of days worrying about my upcoming counseling session with my brother on Monday. Some of his nasty remarks, made at our last session, still linger bitterly in my mind. Out of all my relatives, my brother is the one who scares me the most. Some of the things he has said to me in the past have not only made me angry, but have hurt me as well. I sometimes get the feeling that he is actually trying to inflict some kind of unknown pain upon me. I do not know if this is part of an effort on his part to try and get even with me for God only knows what. He listens to what I have to say, and often turns my words around as he takes them out of context. He makes accusations to me and expects me to defend myself. Why should I do that? I think he takes great delight by upsetting me in any way he can. He is top notch when it comes to that. Additionally, he has a wicked temper, which is reminiscent of our mother. Although I am not sure this counseling is helping me very much, I am going to try and stick with it for as long as I can. I have a feeling that my brother is thinking I am going to give up on it, but I intend to show him that I am much stronger than he thinks. I guess we will have to wait and see who will be the first one to break.
Replies
\"He listens to what I have to say, and often turns my words around as he takes them out of context. He makes accusations to me and expects me to defend myself. \"
Isn\'t this typical of alcholics? Or anyone who has suffered from abuse, they try and protect themselves?
He\'s just trying to protect himself, Jim. The thing is, he\'s got the attacker wrong. YOU AREN\'T IT.
He needs to go stomp on some graves I think.... And leave your sessions to helping YOU.
\"Although I am not sure this counseling is helping me very much, I am going to try and stick with it for as long as I can.\"
You better believe you are sticking with it!!!!!!! When we first met two years ago, you would NEVER have typed the journal you just typed! You would have kept it all bottled up. And numbed.
Look at all the things you\'re \'saying\' out loud lately, and the earth still spins!
Have any of your anxieties or apprehensions come true? And if they have, have at least your friends at DS not been there for you?
LET IT OUT MAN! : D
When it starts to get to be too much, just back off and pace yourself. You already journaled that you can\'t solve it all at once.
Just don\'t use that as a reason to avoid the doing it!
ALWAYS IN YOUR CORNER...
Hugs and Mojo
Weebs
I\'m always in your corner too.
I know you are much stronger than him already. I worry that you feel obligated to help him and he\'s simply not ready. He doesn\'t \'hear\' you, Jim.
Your fears are very valid. He will continue to try and dominate you. I don\'t understand why. If anything, maybe therapy can help with that. Why is he so scared of you and why does he always feel the need to dominate?
\" Additionally, he has a wicked temper, which is reminiscent of our mother.\"
Boy does that speak VOLUMES. No pun intended.
My father came from a house of shouters, and my mother was raised by a British father born in 1898. No voice was ever to be raised.
Those two things DO NOT go together.