Something more than chance
Last night I lay there reminiscing with the woman that I love...and we talked about all the things which lead us to this point of being together. I now am starting to realize what she meant when she told me that this thing that we share has to be something more than chance. There are just too many things that match up for it to be pure coincidence that we are together.
I am someone that believes in fate, I am someone that believes in destiny. I am the type that believes that all things happen for a reason, and this is the first time, in a very long time, where I look into her eyes, I drink in her laughter, that smile on her face, and all I can think to myself is that perhaps, just maybe her and I are really meant-to-be. I will not say that I have not had this same romanticism once...but that was under different circumstances, that was because of my need to have something to fill the void in me that was left by another person. While I hate to say it, Taz was always meant to be a bandage for me, and I was supposed to be the same for her. We were merely trying to plug up the holes in our hearts, trying to find something real where maybe nothing existed...and we rushed things to the point where we talk to each other now, knowing that the only friendship we ever shared was through our love of one another...a love that was never meant to work and was always supposed to be nothing more than an experience and a lesson learned.
Still...what I have now, what I feel now...it is nothing short of a giant chain that links my heart to hers. It is sturdy, it cannot rust and therefore cannot break. You cannot cut through it with a saw, there is no lock and therefore no key. This is a bond and a connection that cannot be severed...this love between Sage and I.
Here it has nearly been six months and at this point, Sage and I have not really fought. We have never exchanged harsh words with each other, our bickering never lasts. Our one real thing that might have been a fight was only a matter of giving Sage her space because she felt somewhat embarrassed and insulted but we made up before either of us got off the computer and went to bed. Every night we talk about our love, how it happened, how lucky we both got. Every night we sit there and tell the other how much we miss each other, miss the touches, the cuddles, and the kisses.
Every night we compliment one another, watch shows together online, we play video games together, and then text each other all day. Even outside of that honeymoon phase, we still make love, still crave one another...but I'm getting off track.
This thing that we have (as explained by Sage) is like our souls finally woke up and found that piece of the other that was missing. Not that we are two pieces that merely fit, but that we were once one entity, split apart, and now we are once again made whole.
If Sage had not gotten injured when she did in her past, her and I would have never met, our timelines would have never crossed...If Sage would have taken up that job in Nevada for the Amazon position she was offered, perhaps our paths might have crossed sooner because I was working for the same company. If I had not convinced Taz to try for a different place, Taz would have ended up at Ft.Hood, the same place as Sage...and I would have been in Austin working for the Amazon there.If Sage had not heard that Taz was going to Ft.Campbell, she would have gone there, and would have only been a few hours away from my home town.
...and honestly, if Taz would have kicked me off of the base any other day when the trains were working, I would have never called Sage, and we would have never ended up in each others arms like we are now. We would have never had the chance to talk to one another in-depth, we would have never had those late-night conversations, would have never had that chance to flirt because we had both liked each other since that time we met on the hill in July.
Heh...looking at all those areas, all those chances in which we could have missed each other, where one little thread could have thrown us off from ever meeting and yet somehow, something always changed last minute. Seeing where the planets aligned with this, we both realize how lucky we are, and we both have decided that this thing is special, this thing is unique...this thing is one-in-a-million, and it really can be nothing else...but something more than chance.
I am someone that believes in fate, I am someone that believes in destiny. I am the type that believes that all things happen for a reason, and this is the first time, in a very long time, where I look into her eyes, I drink in her laughter, that smile on her face, and all I can think to myself is that perhaps, just maybe her and I are really meant-to-be. I will not say that I have not had this same romanticism once...but that was under different circumstances, that was because of my need to have something to fill the void in me that was left by another person. While I hate to say it, Taz was always meant to be a bandage for me, and I was supposed to be the same for her. We were merely trying to plug up the holes in our hearts, trying to find something real where maybe nothing existed...and we rushed things to the point where we talk to each other now, knowing that the only friendship we ever shared was through our love of one another...a love that was never meant to work and was always supposed to be nothing more than an experience and a lesson learned.
Still...what I have now, what I feel now...it is nothing short of a giant chain that links my heart to hers. It is sturdy, it cannot rust and therefore cannot break. You cannot cut through it with a saw, there is no lock and therefore no key. This is a bond and a connection that cannot be severed...this love between Sage and I.
Here it has nearly been six months and at this point, Sage and I have not really fought. We have never exchanged harsh words with each other, our bickering never lasts. Our one real thing that might have been a fight was only a matter of giving Sage her space because she felt somewhat embarrassed and insulted but we made up before either of us got off the computer and went to bed. Every night we talk about our love, how it happened, how lucky we both got. Every night we sit there and tell the other how much we miss each other, miss the touches, the cuddles, and the kisses.
Every night we compliment one another, watch shows together online, we play video games together, and then text each other all day. Even outside of that honeymoon phase, we still make love, still crave one another...but I'm getting off track.
This thing that we have (as explained by Sage) is like our souls finally woke up and found that piece of the other that was missing. Not that we are two pieces that merely fit, but that we were once one entity, split apart, and now we are once again made whole.
If Sage had not gotten injured when she did in her past, her and I would have never met, our timelines would have never crossed...If Sage would have taken up that job in Nevada for the Amazon position she was offered, perhaps our paths might have crossed sooner because I was working for the same company. If I had not convinced Taz to try for a different place, Taz would have ended up at Ft.Hood, the same place as Sage...and I would have been in Austin working for the Amazon there.If Sage had not heard that Taz was going to Ft.Campbell, she would have gone there, and would have only been a few hours away from my home town.
...and honestly, if Taz would have kicked me off of the base any other day when the trains were working, I would have never called Sage, and we would have never ended up in each others arms like we are now. We would have never had the chance to talk to one another in-depth, we would have never had those late-night conversations, would have never had that chance to flirt because we had both liked each other since that time we met on the hill in July.
Heh...looking at all those areas, all those chances in which we could have missed each other, where one little thread could have thrown us off from ever meeting and yet somehow, something always changed last minute. Seeing where the planets aligned with this, we both realize how lucky we are, and we both have decided that this thing is special, this thing is unique...this thing is one-in-a-million, and it really can be nothing else...but something more than chance.
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