someone justlet me go

blah havent written a journal in a long time ugh .... why after a year am i still obsessed with him ... why does he have to play games with my head its not fair and once again after i met someone he "accidently" gets me pregnant i am fucked no one wants a girl who pregnant or a girl with a baby i have no job i have nothing what am i gonna do.... ugh ... he doesnt want to be iwth me its just me and my stomach alll alone ... why do i get myself into situations like this ugh its not fair .... im so stupid ... im pregnant now what ... this is something that i am going to have to livve with for the rest of my life... although right now he want s to be in the babys life waht if i dont want him in the babys life ??? i dont want him in my life for the next 18+ years on god is there any way you can hepl me ... idk why i sit here and do things like this ugh i just want my heart to get over him what if i jsut run  away far away.... my mother said she would be there for me but no she really isnt we havent even talked why is it that my other has to forget about me she was the reason that i w as ok with having the baby now what im all alone!! ug h why meee ....and he still treats me like shit ...whyyy is that ok? and i let him please jsut let me gooo .... i jsut want to die ...