some update and stuff...

saw my PCM today ...EARLY ass in the morning! had to be there by 0830! so i woke up at 0630!! that's the earliest i've had to get up in years.... and i gotta tell you.... i was d-r-a-g-g-i-n and the back pain was unberable! my pain went all the way up to a 7 on the pain scale. i was walkin SUPER s--l--o--w--..... inch by inch holding on to Matthew. old people with walkers were passin me up like i wasn't even moving. sheesh.... anyways... this is what i saw her for today:-get an updated MRI of my lower back (that's been killin me!) -ask to get switched from gabapentin to topamax (gabapentin has numbed me out in bad ways)-ask to be switched from cymbalta to savella, the newly aproved med for FMS. i mean cymbalta has greatly helped my migraines, but the body aches, muscle pain, and muscle fatigue has not improved much. so i wanna try savella. heard so many good things about it.-asked to get sent to a podiatrist because my feet been hurtin from the plantar fasceitus. i used to have molds for my feet back in 05, but those are worn out. need new ones.-had my vit B12 levels checked (lab)-and asked for an annual eye exam  wewhh! that's a lot, huh?matthew drove me this morning cuz i was in BAD shape, he was tempted to take me to the ER. i told em, no, cuz i don't wanna deal with those asshole docs. last time the female doc made a comment "she just has fibromyalgia, so i'll have her out of here pretty fast".....WTF?!!! "JUST fibromyalgia"??! if that b*tch got this shit, she would probably thow herself off a building from the pain! anyways.... Matthew and i have has some deep talks lately. we had gotten into a bit of a spat (that he started then blamed me), but we talked it over thoroughly and resolved it. i told him that i understand he is struggling with depression and all that, but that's NO excuse to talk to me that way or treat me that way. it's abusive. so he got really quiet and kept looking down at the floor.... i told him that i'm not innocent either, that i've said mean hurtful things in the past too. but that we NEED to STOP that. we deserve better and shouldn't hurt each other. so he said he was sorry and was sincere... he said he's sorry he ever hurt me and in the past too. we talked for a long time about the past 3 years of our relationship and how we have made so much improvents. i agreed with him and told him how much i love him.   i told himt that i don't want anyone else... no one else can match up with me. i've never felt so deep about anyone before.... we held each other the rest of the night and he kept hugging me and kissing me. he can make me so happy sometimes. also, he makes me laugh so hard most days.... i mean, till my stomach is cramping and my asthma flares. that's how hard he makes me laugh! ok... i'm wrapping up here. thanks my friends for taking the time out of your day to read my update. you are so supportive and i'm glad i have you!! thanks to all those who pray for this nation! and i pray that this economy turns around soon.... God bless you all!!