some morning updates,and sharings. thank you angel friends <3

Thank you angel friends, for your comforting love, care, prayers, sympathy,and condolences. we feel your hearts hugging ours, during this very sad, and emotional time. i wanted to share some updates on how we're doing. we're all very emotional, sad,  distraught, lots of emotions, feelings, and sadness. we're keeping surrounded by love, care, and support, and making sure we take good care of ourselves. we're all having moments of very emotional times, and we're all taking turns to keep/be strong for eachother. Holly and i have been talking with my mom, and she's talking with us, and communicating with family,and friends. the outpouring of love is very comforting, we need that very much, right now, and appreciate you all very much, our dear angel friends. i'm gonna have some updates to share, later on today as we recieve more updates, along with planting a memorial funeral for Charlie. we're being gentle to ourselves right now. i'm trying to write when i feel i can, but i'm also having emotional down times, of feeling like i can't get through the writings, as tears begin and i have to stop in those moments. Charlie is on all of our minds, and in our hearts. there's so many emotions going on, everything feels very raw. my mom's Charlie's next of kin, she's taking care of things best she can right now, along with help my dad, and us all. we get emotional thinking of going into his home, my mom said she can't handle that,and i told her, along with Holly, we all need to take all the time we need. Jenn and family live next-door to Charlie's home, and he always came over often to the gatherings for birthday's and holiday's. it really has felt surreal to us all, and has us numb, along with many emotions too. i talked with my mom earlier, and i told her, that it would be very special if we could (when we're ready), put Charlie's bird feeders in our yard. he loved nature, and he and i shared texts with nature sharings, pictures over the years, and i believe he would want us to put his feeders in our yard, so that his love for nature could live on through us all. my mom shared something personal with me, as she believes in signs, and things, much like Holly and i, and many of us. my mom said, she said an eagle yesterday nearby Charlie's home, and it was circling around the area. we find comfort often, in thinking of loved ones being able to give us signs, and for my mom in those moments, she felt much comfort, that it was a sign from Charlie.

it's all very sad, what's happened, Charlie passing. he was always a big part of our lives, and always will be. i mentioned about Charlie loving nature, he also loved music, and his sports, including nascar, and football. Charlie was excited, last year, he put together this nascar pool for us all, he bought these plain poker chips, and wrote the numbers on each chip, and even got a grab bag, and he would come over on sunday's, or the day of the nascar race ,and for $1, we could pick 2 nascar drivers, and the pool was for about $7 or $10, and  would often roll over to the next week, and  eventually someone would win. we aren't too much into nascar over the years, but it brought Charlie joy, and brought us all time to be with him, and i remember he would be very proud we were participating. it became a sunday tradition for us, with Charlie. last week, i was texting with Charlie on wednesday night, and we were texting about football, the last text i sent him, i told him we look forward to football, and told him my prediction, for the superbowl, i said, his favorite team, 49ers vs Bengals, and he wrote back, "nice". my mom's been showing me some of her texts with him, including the picture of him out on the water, on his canoe. i've been sharing some stories with Holly. i remember being a kid, and Charlie would have his, Lisa's, and Bobby's friend's over,  and they use too hang out here in the downstairs/basement, Charlie had a band, and played guitar, i remember being about 7 years old,and remembering them jamming down here with friends, playing music. there is a picture around, i'm not sure where it is, but maybe we could find it sometime, it's a picture of Charlie, and i was a kid, and he put sunglasses on me, so that i could look like him. i hope we can find that picture sometime. Jenn has lots of pictures she's posting up on her facebook page. i was looking at my bamboo plant with Holly this morning, Charlie gave that to me for my birthday in 2012, it's about 4 feet tall. my brother Charlie was a great brother, and loved being a part of times, with family and friends. we can't believe he's passed,it's hit us all very hard. my mom and i spent a good amount of time talking this morning.

Lisa brought us some iced coffees from cumberland farms this morning. we're making sure we're eating. our appetites haven't been the best, but we're trying to eat some foods, and keeping hydrated, drinking water, and sipping our coffee. the medical examiner in Farmington, ct, is going to be contacting my mom, most likely sometime later on today, and she and Jenn are going to the funeral home, to sort, make plans for Charlie's memorial funeral. i will continue to keep everyone updated, and sharing, stories/memories, as i have so many,and it's just very sad, and hard right now, writing it out. little sharings at times, i know will be good,  and healthy, for me, for us all, to continue to talk with eachother as we grieve, and cope. thank you angel friends, for being here for us, and for comforting us <3 we love you all, and appreciate you very much.  we want to wish everyone a peaceful day.

Sharing my brother Charlie's nature pictures, he loved the birds, squirrels, and all of the nature friends. he took these pictures,  including a chocolate sunflower, he grew this season. he and i texted often about nature, birds, squirrels, and shared pictures  with eachother. i want to share some of his nature pictures. Buddy's love for nature, will live on, as we put his feeders in our yard so that his nature friends, can continue to enjoy the feeders <3

Charlie loved playing the guitar.