Some History And a Nightmare

A little history:
When I was in second grade, my mom, me and my 3 brothers came back to the US from Indonesia. Mom told us that THIS time it was permanent (we weren't going back to Indo for anything again). My dad was living and working in Indonesia at the time and would come visit every 3 months or so.
One time on one of his visits I overheard mom and dad talking in the kitchen (they didn't know I was listening)... dad was telling mom that he wanted to bring my older brother Kris back with him and then when he comes back to the US in 3 months he will return him. And then the next time he visits he will bring another child with him and then return that child when he returns in 3 months, and so on for every child. It had something to do with keeping Indonesian exposure to the children. My mom was hesitant at 1st but then she agreed. I heard this and was terrified. I knew it was a dirty trick my dad was playing on my mom, because dad was always coming up with something bad over the years to hurt the family. I begged mom not to do it but she grew angry with me and told me she wasn't going to discuss it with me, it was for adults to talk about. My dad took my brother with out letting us say good bye. When we woke up the next morning he was already gone. We waited and waited for his return.
When he returned, he came back with out Kris. We asked him, "Where's Kris?!" He said with a smile on his face that he was going to bring him back next time. 3 or 4 months later dad came back, still no Kris. Dad told us not to worry, that he was going to bring him back for sure next time. We waited and waited for dad to come back but he never returned. Finally mom realized she had been tricked. 8 months to a yr later (I can't remember) we ended up leaving the US to go back to Indonesia to find my brother. We found him. He had been neglected, malnourished, abused, etc etc. There's a lot more to the story but that can be for  another day. The nightmare I dreamed last night:
I was about 18 yrs old in the dream. Me and my 2 younger brothers were in some kind of orphanage or shelter for children and single mothers who were in trouble. The children all slept in one big room. It was night time in my dream and I was getting ready for bed. My mom was at a desk working on either poetry, or sewing something, not sure. Some of the other kids there were getting ready for bed, too. And my brothers were settling down in there beds. I grew sleepy and went to sleep. At some point in the night I heard some rustling and woke up. My 2 younger brothers were gone! My mom was sitting at the desk looking worried/distraught so I asked her in a demanding voice, "What happened?!" She told me, "Your father came and took them." I asked her why she didn't wake me when he showed up. And she told me that I was sleeping well and didn't want to disturb me. I was furious and started yelling at her.... then I woke up. I thought I had put the past about my dad taking my brother behind me, and half way forgave him. But I guess, it turns out, somewhere deep inside I'm still wounded. And not only am I wounded by my father, but wounded by my mother for not protecting us from my dad. I know this is not my usual journal entry and I apologize. I just needed to get this off my chest or out of my head, etc. Take care God bless..... And happy Mother's Day to all mothers! You Rock!