Some days...

There are days when it hurts more than ever.  There are days when i feel hopeless and like the world is crashing and i cant help but distant myself from this world. There are days when i feel so hopeless but not as hopeless to take my own life. I loved him, i loved him so much and it hurts to have never been loved in return. I have met others before and after him but my memory alway takes me back to him. Others say i could do better and the reality of it is that i know i can. I lost everything; my job, my savings and my life. I lost the will to hold on to my heart. 

They say to be strong, but no one understands your pain, no one understands how depressing it can be to hurt, to not even have control over the sleepless nights and busy thoughts of where  i will end  up. How can someone hurt another like the way he hurt me? Oh i have no idea. Does he miss me? hell **** no!.

There are really good days and then there are days i just want to vanish to a place where i am nothing but thin air. I hope someday i can have my heart, my soul and mind back again to me. The songs, the movies, the memories they all still exist i wish and i hope to wake up one day with amnesia.