Softness and comfort
I used to feed off of remarks like "Oh, you're so TINY", or "How do you stay so THIN"... Meanwhile I was consumed with staying that way, and I was consumed with food, thoughts of food, getting food, eating food, and then purging food,.. and then find more fooooood.... Round and round... I missed out on so much more that was going on in front of me, I missed my life... I missed flowers and frogs and salt and sweet and sunsets... You know, that sounds corny, but it's true. I didn't taste or take note of ANYTHING. I was numb. I am different now. I eat when I'm hungry. I haven't gained a lot of weight, my weight sorta stabilized into... what... I have some curviness, but I still get compliments on my figure, and I still dress really cute, I wear a size five, you know, and I'm 46 yrs old, that's not too shabby, I still swap clothes a little with my grown daughters, but I know my place too, I need a little weight on me, as I get up in years, I don't want to look or feel boney... I want to look healthy, I want little kids to come up to me and climb up in my lap... I want that, I want softness and comfort, I want to feel that and BE that, I want to have confidence in my INSIDE as well as my outside... I can't do that if I'm always focused on my weight and my calorie count. I can't have it both ways. I'm choosing health. I like to think of myself as a juicy peach. Sometimes my husband even calls me "Peaches" and it just makes me glow, that he's picking up on what I'm going for... My ED cost me almost the first half of my life. It's time-consuming, and life-consuming. It's taking something away from what you can have with your children, your husband. It's taking you away from other people. It takes your time and your attention. You're denying your womanhood, when you take away your ass and your boobs and the soft padding of your face, belly, and arms. We're supposed to be a little softer than men, there's a biological reason for all of that. I didn't see that until now.
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