Socializing....yet again...
Well, so it seems that I get my big chance to socialize tomorrow...and not just with anyone, but with people in my husband's command as it is his Command Picnic. This is all good. I have only met three people from his ship, one briefly in the mall, and two out on dinner occassions. I do love to get out and meet people, especially those my husband serves with and these are the people he will be on deployment with next year (his first one since our marriage, but that's another scary story). Thier families may also come to mean a great deal to me during deployment and seeing as how I'm still fairly new to being a Navy wife, this is my chance to really get to know people and to let people get to know me. Now comes the hard part... A select few at his command know of my illness, and I really don't care if they all knew but he wanted to sort of protect my privacy and for that I love him even more. But therein lies a bit of a problem. This event is an all day event, starting around 9am and going until I don't even know when. I most likely won't be able to eat much because it is being catered and if I don't know the sodium content I am terrified of going over my meager 2,000 mg limit for the day. Hubby suggests I bring snacks and that's all good and well in theory, but still, almost 2 years after my diagnosis, he really doesn't know what it's like to sit there and watch others enjoy what I can no longer have. We went thru this at the Navy Ball last year at which I nearly cried over the menu. I've gotten stronger since then with controlling my emotions but it's still not easy. Also, in my family and such eating is a way to socialize. I've been thru it before where if I don't eat people think I'm anti-social or some stupid such thing. Easy answer is to simply tell them I have a medical condition (for those that don't know already). Most likely that is what I will do but I'm still a bit on edge about being around all of these strange people and having to explain myself. Then comes the matter of my medication. Right now I take 7 meds each day at 3 different times during the day. So far when we go places I've been able to work around it, taking them before we go or when we get home...you get the idea. Tomorrow I will not have the benefit of doing that. I'm not worried so much about taking meds in front of people as there is a way to do that in a private matter. What worries me is when my side effects kick in (and they always do especially with the Lactulose and Xifixan together). I know I become cranky and sometimes my tummy aches so much that I want to cry. And I always get so tired. Those things are a bit harder to explain away. My husband, God bless his loving soul, always says it's not a big deal if I don't feel well, but ultimately he does get frustrated when I start complaining too much and want him to stay near me (because for one when I start to feel ill I get a little bit afraid, he doesn't understand that either but I do get scared and always will because sometimes I don't know if it's the meds or if really there could be something wrong. So, end result is that he gets frustrated, I get frustrated for him not understanding and he ends up yelling or something. I surely don't want to keep him from having fun, but I also think he needs to realize that I do have problems with such a long day. Sometimes the man is in such denial it makes me want to scream! I suppose after all this rambling I still haven't made a point and I don't really know if I had one. I think I'm just very anxious about this outing and needed to spill it...the cats stopped listening a long time ago :) God bless you all and keep you safeChelsey Ann
Replies
All I can do is wish you the best. It is going to be a difficult, long day.
Stay strong,
Craig
I understand your frustration. I went through similar situations when I had my gastric by-pass in 1995. I had to deal with people thinking I was dying from cancer because I was losing weight so rapidly and not believing me when I told them otherwise, people who did believe me and were miffed because they were struggling to lose weight (as I had all my life until the by-pass), and not being able to eat \"normally.\" I was afraid to eat anything I didn\'t make myself, that wasn\'t \"fresh\" (fruits and veggies), or whose label I couldn\'t read to confirm the fat and sugar content. If I ate anything that had sugar in it I reacted like a diabetic -- shakes, sweats, diahrea, cramping and even passing out; too much fat -- nausea; too much (more than 1-2 tablespoons)-- pain, nausea, wishing I could vomit. Not exactly socially acceptable behavior.
A couple of suggestions: 1) take separate cars if possible so you can excuse yourself -- \"I am so sorry, I have a previous appointment that I couldn\'t be rescheduled;\" 2) put a spoon of this and that on your plate and move it around with your fork so it looks like you are eating and like you have eaten some of it; 3) laugh, talk, and don\'t stay in one place too long and people won\'t notice if you aren\'t eating what you are carrying around and you can pass by the trash can and dump it; 4) carry a drink in your hand at all times and pat your tummy--\"I couldn\'t eat another bite;\" 5) tell Ian you really want to stay as long as possible but you just can\'t make it the whole day and, if you aren\'t taking separate cars, could he please slip away and take you home and then go back. He can do it without any fanfair and when someone notices you aren\'t there, he can tell them he ran you home--you weren\'t feeling well -- the heat must have gotten to you, or something.
You have my cell number -- call me and I will come pick you up if you are going in one car. That way Ian can stay, you can make your excuses about a previous engagement, and I can take you home (of course that can be a problem if it is on base because I don\'t have a sticker), but Ian could get you to the gate :).
Karen
Karen has given you such great advice that I don\'t think I could add much more, lol. What I will say is this.... do only what YOU feel comfortable with. Don\'t worry about what anyone else thinks, this is YOUR life and you need to look after yourself. If that means bringing along food and/or beverages that are better suited to your condition, then bring them. And if you feel the need to explain, simply say, I am watching my sodium content. If your run across less than understanding people... well, guess you\'ll know who is friend material and who is not. I don\'t know about you but, that always makes my life a whole lot easier, lol.
Please don\'t try to do more than you are able. The temps and humidity tomorrow will be brutal. Stay safe and take care!
Nicci
Good morning to you :)
Just sending a quick thank you for your comment on my journal about my outing. It really made a difference to hear some encouraging words instead of just the typical \"get over it\", or \"you worry too much\". My day went better than I expected and my husband was great about bringing me home early so I could eat and get cooled off.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Take care and God bless
Chelsey Ann
HELLO CHELSEY,HAVE YOU TRIED TO SAY \'I AM VEGETARIAN\'AND TRY TO HAVE A SIMPLE VEG MENU PREPARED FOR YOU,ALSO FIND OUT IF THERE IS A LOUNGE TO A BREAK AND REST,I UNDERSTAND IT IS DIFFICULT WHEN YOU HAVE A HEALTH ISSUE.MOST PLACES HAVE SUCH FACILITIES,AND CATER FOR SPECIAL DIET,THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH ALLERGIES AND NEEDS,YOU ARE NOT ALONE,JUST GET ORGANISED,AND ENJOY YOUR TIME OUT..LOVE LUCY.