Socializing....yet again...

Well, so it seems that I get my big chance to socialize tomorrow...and not just with anyone, but with people in my husband's command as it is his Command Picnic.  This is all good.  I have only met three people from his ship, one briefly in the mall, and two out on dinner occassions.  I do love to get out and meet people, especially those my husband serves with and these are the people he will be on deployment with next year (his first one since our marriage, but that's another scary story).  Thier families may also come to mean a great deal to me during deployment and seeing as how I'm still fairly new to being a Navy wife, this is my chance to really get to know people and to let people get to know me.  Now comes the hard part... A select few at his command know of my illness, and I really don't care if they all knew but he wanted to sort of protect my privacy and for that I love him even more.  But therein lies a bit of a problem.  This event is an all day event, starting around 9am and going until I don't even know when.  I most likely won't be able to eat much because it is being catered and if I don't know the sodium content I am terrified of going over my meager 2,000 mg limit for the day.  Hubby suggests I bring snacks and that's all good and well in theory, but still, almost 2 years after my diagnosis, he really doesn't know what it's like to sit there and watch others enjoy what I can no longer have.  We went thru this at the Navy Ball last year at which I nearly cried over the menu.  I've gotten stronger since then with controlling my emotions but it's still not easy.  Also, in my family and such eating is a way to socialize.  I've been thru it before where if I don't eat people think I'm anti-social or some stupid such thing.  Easy answer is to simply tell them I have a medical condition (for those that don't know already).  Most likely that is what I will do but I'm still a bit on edge about being around all of these strange people and having to explain myself.   Then comes the matter of my medication.  Right now I take 7 meds each day at 3 different times during the day.  So far when we go places I've been able to work around it, taking them before we go or when we get home...you get the idea.  Tomorrow I will not have the benefit of doing that.  I'm not worried so much about taking meds in front of people as there is a way to do that in a private matter.  What worries me is when my side effects kick in (and they always do especially with the Lactulose and Xifixan together).  I know I become cranky and sometimes my tummy aches so much that I want to cry.  And I always get so tired.  Those things are a bit harder to explain away.   My husband, God bless his loving soul, always says it's not a big deal if I don't feel well, but ultimately he does get frustrated when I start complaining too much and want him to stay near me (because for one when I start to feel ill I get a little bit afraid, he doesn't understand that either but I do get scared and always will because sometimes I don't know if it's the meds or if really there could be something wrong.  So, end result is that he gets frustrated, I get frustrated for him not understanding and he ends up yelling or something.  I surely don't want to keep him from having fun, but I also think he needs to realize that I do have problems with such a long day.  Sometimes the man is in such denial it makes me want to scream!   I suppose after all this rambling I still haven't made a point and I don't really know if I had one.  I think I'm just very anxious about this outing and needed to spill it...the cats stopped listening a long time ago :) God bless you all and keep you safeChelsey Ann